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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Ladies Night)

I’m going to start off by making an excuse. Tonight’s blog might be shorter than most nights since I’m feeling whatever is lower than “under the weather” and more importantly, it’s Maggie’s birthday today! So I’m only going to give a brief recap in between trying to not cough and sneeze on the birthday girl. What can I say, I’m a very loving husband!

But almost as important as Maggie’s birthday, it’s time to start voting on American Idol, as we begin the drawn out 3 week process of taking the current 24 final contestants and whittling them down to Top 12. To do that though we have to get rid of six girls and six guys who will be forever be banished into the world of obscurity along with names such as Jesse Langseth, Ricky Braddy, Luke Menard, Asia’h Epperson. See, I told ya, no one has seen these people since not making the final 12.

Up first tonight are the 12 ladies. Two of which will be gone by Thursday. So let’s admire Ellen’s lovely man suit and hope for the best tonight.

Before they start singing, here were my “preseason” predictions of the Top 12 girls, which I’m sure will look terrible in about three weeks.

MY TOP 12 GIRLS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Didi Benami
3. Katie Stevens
4. Ashley Rodriguez
5. Janell Wheeler
6. Haeley Vaughn
7. Katelyn Epperly
8. Siobhan Magnus
9. Lily Scott
10. Lacey Brown
11. Michelle Delamor
12. What’s Her Face (Paige Miles)

Paige Miles ("All Right Now" by Free) - the only contestant of the 24 to get zero screen time, which makes her about a 10,000:1 favorite to win the whole thing.  And from her first note, I can hear why they never showed her.  Also, she looks like she just woke up and is suffering from a bad case of bed head.  Outside of the final note, the whole thing was very uninspiring, not sure why they put her through.  Maybe she's here on the Make-a-Wish program?  And Simon just said she has the best voice of all the girls, which now puts me on par with Ellen for an eye and an ear for musical talent.
GRADE: C-

Ashley Rodriguez ("Happy" by Leona Lewis) - good start, however, it was a little on the boring side of things. In fact, one of the few unknown rules of Idol is that you should avoid doing slow songs in the first couple of weeks, because America doesn't take too kindly to slow out of the gate. On an unrelated note, I noticed Idol has changed their font for name and number to call for the contestants, and they italicized it now too. Wow, big changes this year, first Ellen instead of Paula, Vitamin Water instead of Coke and now this. Next change, no more singing, everyone has to yodel to win.
GRADE: C

Janell Wheeler ("What About Love" by Heart) - Says she wants to go out on that stage and do what she does best....damn, she meant singing. Ok, that wasn't good, she was terrible nervous - go back and watch her last note, her hand and mic were shaking terribly. Also, I think her parents are bizarro Laura Linney and Bill Buchanan from 24. Kara said it best, that song was too big for her.  Another rule of Idol, don't sing Heart unless your name rhymes with Barry Thundergood.
GRADE: C

Lilly Scott ("Fixing a Hole" by The Beatles) - well that was certainly different.  It was kind of like Crystal Pepsi, I liked it, but I'm not sure if it's here for the long haul.  She definitely has a good unique quality to her, and is very talented, I just fear for her that her style isn't suited for a show like this.
GRADE: B-

Katelyn Epperly ("Oh Darling" by The Beatles) - looking like something Madonna threw up, but singing like the exact opposite of throw up.  I really liked that performance as it definitely didn't sound like The Beatles, but more like the scene at the end of an 80s movie when our hero has an epiphany from being alone and realizing he/she no longer wants to be alone.  If that doesn't make any sense, blame my mixed cocktail of DayQuil and NyQuil.
GRADE: B

Haeley Vaughn ("I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles) - I guess it's safe to say there won't be a Beatles night this year on Idol. This was definitely a crazy rendition of a classic song, there was some shouting and pitch-y-ness at the beginning, and it got better as it went along, but it was just a borderline train wreck. I expected more out of her, but feel I may have been duped. Uh, she just gave a shout out to her high school by saying "Go Pooter" - not sure where she goes to high school, but I know for sure I won't be sending my kids there!
GRADE: C

Lacey Brown ("Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac) - once again, no slow songs please. Even worse, no slow songs while sitting on a stool, because it makes your performance come across as stool. This was just all over the place, it sounded like a car going through different gears making a whole bunch of weird noises but lacking any consistency.
GRADE: D (for diarrhea)

Just saw a commercial for a movie with Robert Pattinson and Claire from LOST - is it bad that I was thinking it would be cool to add a vampire storyline to the final season of LOST this year? Like it turns out that Jacob is one of the Lost Boys and thus he was never really killed by Ben. It's brilliant. Ok, at the very least it's better writing than Dharma and Greg - which by the way has absolutely nothing to do with LOST's Dharma Initiative.

Michelle Delamor ("Fallen" by Alicia Keys) - so many slow songs tonight, although this wasn't as bad as the others. Was a little worried at first that we were going to get a copycat performance, so I'm glad she changed it up some. I think the Quil is starting to really kick in because I've already forgotten what she sounded like. By the way, why do we get two choices of "flavors" for NyQuil (Red and Green) but only one "flavor" of Dayquil (Orange). I'm very angry about this unfair ratio.
GRADE: C+

Didi Benami - ("The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson) - amazingly, Paige "what's her face" who sang first tonight is got to be happy with all these slow songs, because she's looking more and more safe. However, I do really like Didi's voice and outside of this putting me in a bit of a sleepy state of mind, I still have high hopes for her. Simon was right about how many of these contestants are starting to all sound the same and similar to Adele, Duffy, etc. But I'm a big fan of that type of voice, so I'm ok with that. Ironically, we have Amy Winehouse to thank for that genre of music become popular again, yet she won't forever be known for that.
GRADE: C+

I don't get the Old Spice commercials. That is all.

Siobhan Magnus ("Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak) - I read online she was going to be doing "It's Raining Men" so this is a much better surprise. Although another slow song puts me deeper into my future coma. Yet, this was really good and mysterious (ha, Ellen used the same word, we're so in sync), and I'm just curious to hear more of her in the upcoming weeks. All that was missing was Chris Isaak walking through clowds and a half naked chick on a beach in black and white.
GRADE: B

Crystal Bowersox ("Hand In My Pocket" by Alanis Morisette) - loved it, and curse you Simon for saying she sounded like a subway singer - although he is correct about her doing a sound-alike performance. Fun little fact here that only the 8 people who watched Rock Star: INXS will remember - the eventual winner J.D. Fortune - did a version of "Hand In My Pocket" at the near beginning of that show as well long before he was declared the champion. Coincidence?
GRADE: B+

Kris Allen as the spokesperson for Ford is getting a little sad now. What's next, Taylor Hicks promoting Toyota?

Katie Stevens ("Feeling Good" by Michael Buble) - is it just me or is she giving off the Joey Potter vibe? NyQuil has officially taken over and I think I was hearing a not-so-good version from one of my front runners, so I'm going to pretend that's not the case and that she's still going to go far in this competition. Also, Adam Lambert killed that song last year, so maybe doing that so soon isn't that good of an idea.
GRADE: C+

MY BOTTOM THREE: Paige Miles, Ashley Rodriguez and Lacey Brown
MY PREDICTION FOR AMERICA'S BOTTOM THREE: Lacey Brown, Siobhan Magnus and Haeley Vaughn (I feel like America won't get Magnus and/or Vaughn's style)

GOING HOME: Lacey Brown and Siobhan Magnus (I hope I'm wrong on this one though).

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week's ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Didi Benami (2)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Katelyn Epperly (7)
5. Siobhan Magnus (8)
6. Janell Wheeler (5)
7. Lily Scott (9)
8. Michelle Delamor (11)
9. Ashley Rodriguez (4)
10. Haeley Vaughn (6)
11. Paige Miles (12)
12. Lacey Brown (10)

2 Responses

  1. With the combination of being on the west coast and starting about an hour late on DVR, I was able to read your analysis in real time as the judges were giving their feedback. It’s like Jarrett Fischer is American Idol’s fifth judge! (you should totally use that in your marketing materials).

    I was totally underwhelmed last night by these girls, and don’t have Nyquil as an excuse.

    Finally, in the spirit of Crystal Bowiebaysox, I give you Michelle Delmarvashorebirds.

  2. It should be called the bad singing idol girls…as simon would say pathetically boring…..Liked the first girl at least she tried to rock…..My vote goes to Didi…she has a beautiful face.
    As for Ellen what a guy.

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