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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Final 10 Girls or Guys?)

Not that I’m one to make excuses…ok, that’s a lie…but this is a wee bit of a hellacious week for me. I have a 3-day work training thing the next few days, therefore, I’m still going to recap Idol, but it will be in the “10 words or less” mold.  Besides, it’s still early enough in the competition where several of the contestants aren’t even worthy of 10 words, so look at it as me doing you a favor and saving you time as well.

Previously on Idol, my future ex-wife Janell Wheeler was sent packing, as was Eva Mendes 2.0 Ashley Rodriguez.  Let’s hope the girls can build on last week, which really isn’t asking much since most weren’t all that good.

Here’s how I have the final 10 girls ranked thru last week.

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (prior week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Didi Benami (2)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Katelyn Epperly (7)
5. Siobhan Magnus (8)
6. Lily Scott (9)
7. Michelle Delamor (11)
8. Haeley Vaughn (6)
9. Paige Miles (12)
10. Lacey Brown (10)

Uh, nevermind, apparently the guys are going this week.  So, quickly, useless guy #1 and useless guy #2 were sent home last week, and here’s how I have the guys ranked.

MY MALE POWER RANKINGS (prior week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Andrew Garcia (1)
2. Lee Dewyze (2)
3. Casey James (4)
4. Michael Lynche (3)
5. John Park (6)
6. Alex Lambert (7)
7. Aaron Kelly (9)
8. Toderick Hall (8)
9. Jermaine Sellers (11)
10. Tim Urban (10)

Apparently, my front-runner Crystal Bowersox has been hospitalized and unable to perform tonight, so that’s why the guys are going first.  That’s got to make her feel better, that they postpone an entire show just for her to get better.  Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Idol Darling – Crystal Bowersox!

Alright, so the guys will also only get 10 words or less, but in the case of Tim “how the hell am I still here” Urban, I’ll probably just smash the keyboard and see what comes out.

Michael Lynche – Decent vocal but Michael Clarke Duncan’s twin is boring.
GRADE: C+

John Park – needs to show more enthusiasm after two straight serious performances.
GRADE: C-

Casey James – what’s in the box? Gwyneth Paltrow’s head? very shaky vocal!
GRADE: C

Alex Lambert – 1000x better than last week, terrible mullet, great voice!
GRADE: B+

Toderick Hall – meh, not bad, but Ike Turner might beat him up.
GRADE: C

Jermaine Sellers – i’m not buying what Sellers is selling. go home please.
GRADE: D

Andrew Garcia – decent, but losing all of his momentum. needs haircut.
GRADE: C+

Aaron Kelly – I just found some white lint in my belly button, weird.
GRADE: D+

Tim Urban – jjkladjgl;kajgkl;aejrh
GRADE: C-

Lee Dewyze – two straight solid outings vaults him to the top.
GRADE: B

MY BOTTOM THREE – Jermaine Sellers, Aaron Kelly and John Park
MY PREDICTION FOR AMERICA’S BOTTOM THREE – Toderick Hall, Jermaine Sellers, John Park
GOING HOME – John Park and Jermaine Sellers

MY NEW MALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Lee Dewyze (2)
2. Andrew Garcia (1)
3. Casey James (3)
4. Alex Lambert (6)
5. Michael Lynche (4)
6. John Park (5)
7. Toderick Hall (8)
8. Aaron Kelly (7)
9. Jermaine Sellers (9)
10. Tim Urban (10)

Time to go watch LOST before bed.  Good night everyone…get well soon Crystal Bowersox!!!

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2 Responses

  1. I like how you critiqued Idol. I love that part about Lynche being the twin of Michael Clarke Duncan…so true!

  2. Ya missed when sellers is says he is with god and will be back next week….classic simon told ryan not to show sellers phone numbers……as Randy burst out laughing!!!!!!!

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