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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 8 Girls Perform)

Just one more performance for the ladies is standing between tonight and making the overall Top 12.  Hopefully none of these ladies tonight will suffer the fate of last week’s eliminated contestants who I liked to call “Terrible Creed Singer” girl and “Actually Sings Worse Than Miley Cyrus Even Though I Didn’t Think It Was Humanly Possible To Do So” girl.

I do feel pretty confident before even hearing anyone perform tonight that this will be the end of the line for Lacey Brown and/or Paige Miles, but who else will join them?  I dunno, but that’s why I’m watching to find out.

Here’s how I have the remaining 8 ladies ranked thru last week…

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Katie Stevens
4. Lily Scott
5. Didi Benami
6. Katelyn Epperly
7. Paige Miles
8. Lacey Brown

Eight performances, one hour, so it’s gonna be rushed tonight…but thankfully there’s enough time to have Ellen sit on Simon’s lap.  There’s so many things wrong with that.  Number one is that Simon doesn’t like white women.

Katie Stevens- "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson - I figured it out, Katie is Joey Potter from Dawson's Creek except she can sing, not counting the episode of the Creek when Joey entered the beauty pageant and sang and then Dawson realized that he was in love with her and then they dated, but then they broke up and then they dated and broke up and then Pacey(!) came in and swooped her off her feet while Jen was having issues with drugs and alcohol and then she fell in love with Dawson's gigantic forehead while Grams was getting sassier with age, and Jack was dealing with his sexuality, and...wait, I'm getting off track here.  A little on the boring side, but I still got high hopes for Katie "Holmes" Stevens.
GRADE: B-

Siobhan Magnus - "House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals - Maggie figured it out, she's Ally Sheedy from The Breakfast Club. So does that mean she's going to eat a pixie stick sandwich and rub her dandruff all over us? This was a hauntingly great performance, and daring to sing it a capella like that. A good slow build that was just short of spectacular, but Siobhan is definitely showing great consistency My only regret is that we didn't get hear more.
GRADE: A-

Lacey Brown - "The Story" by Brandi Carlile - this was the equivalent of at the Oscars when Tom Hanks came out to present the award for Best Picture and since the show was running 30 minutes over, he just blurted out that The Hurt Locker won without any introduction of the nominees or any suspense. That's basically how they segway-ed from Siobhan's judges' comments to Lacey. However, bad news, Lacey is no Hurt Locker. On a positive note, it was her best performance to date, and may somehow save her from elimination.
GRADE: C+

Katelyn Epperly - "I Feel The Earth Move" by Carole King - standing at the keyboard was kind of weird, reminded me too much of those Wil Ferrell/Ana Gasteyer skits from SNL back in the day. The vocals were good, but she's too young to be singing such an old song like that. The whole performance felt like Friday night at a fancy Italian restaurant where there's a house band in the corner who's also serving coffee and dessert in between sets. (DAMMIT, I swear I wrote this before listening to the judges comments and Simon basically said the same thing near word for word! I don't care, I'm leaving it in).
GRADE: C+

Didi Benami - "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac - a great vocal, and easily her best since Hollywood Week, but I'm a bit concerned with several of these girls all having nearly the same voice (Didi, Lacey, Lilly). I almost would have rather her sung that like Siobhan did, a capella, no instruments, no backup singers. However, unless I become the American Idol producer sometime in the next few years, I'll never get my way. Good to hear the judges giving her such great criticism tonight after making her cry the last two weeks.
GRADE: B+

Paige Miles - "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin - wait, Charlie Chaplin sings? wasn't he a silent actor? actually, Paige should have taken a page out of Mr. Chaplin's book here and sang silently. Seriously, she would have had at least a fighting chance to make it to next week if she just came out and did nothing for 90 seconds. Wow, I still can't believe what a horrible song choice and performance when you're so close to making the Top 12.
GRADE: D- I'm giving her an extra half letter grade back since she's dug her own grave and I feel bad for her.

Side note, anyone else notice that the only two girls who had to sing after someone else (and not after a commercial) were Lacey and Paige? Idol controversy!!! Actually, kudos to Idol, because that's who I wanted to go home this week.

Additional side note, I took Calculus in high school and I learned that Taco Bell + Shrimp = A Bad Idea!

Crystal Bowersox - "Gimme One Reason" by Tracy Chapman - wow, seriously, wow. This isn't even a competition this year, she's head and shoulders above everyone else this season. And she's doing it effortlessly with a "eff you" attitude that's just working for her without coming off as obnoxious. This could be the biggest runaway season since Carrie Underwood won. Only thing between Crystal and the finish line is diabetes. Someone get Wilford Bremley on speed dial, we need more testing supplies!!!
GRADE: A (could have been an A+ but the guitar was probably unnecessary)

Lilly Scott - "I Fall To Pieces" by Patsy Kline - since I'd rather watch Lost, I'll just make this quick. It was just ok, but I always expect more out of the pimp spot. Judges comments will save her
GRADE: C+

MY BOTTOM THREE – Lacey Brown, Paige Miles and Katelyn Epperly
MY PREDICTION FOR AMERICA’S BOTTOM THREE – Paige Miles, Katie Stevens and Katelyn Epperly
GOING HOME – Paige Miles and Katelyn Epperly

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Siobhan Magnus (2)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Didi Benami (5)
5. Lily Scott (4)
6. Katelyn Epperly (6)
7. Lacey Brown (8)
8. Paige Miles (7)

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One Response

  1. hysterical review of crystal and you might as well give her an A+ because she even played the guitar well, unlike katelyn who just used that piano as a prop. however, i have to take issue with you ranking katie stevens that high. there are corpses out there with more personality than her and unless i close my eyes when she performs, i just don’t care. i think she is gone next week along with paige.

    also, i felt like lacey really stepped it up and i was really impressed with her tonight. didn’t know the song at all, but it felt believable and some weird combination of cute and sexy and inviting. i really hope america can figure out how cool and unique siobhan is. lily scott is a pro. i can’t remember a season where there were three girls (siobhan, lily, crystal) that i actually would like to have a conversation with, get high with, or talk about music with. i am loving this season. we got a hot one jarrett.

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