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I’m Baaaaack!!! Did I miss anything?

So apparently when I said I was going on vacation, I really meant, 8 1/2 month blog coma.  Hope I don’t find out in a few weeks that I’ve fathered some little blog children.  My sincerest apologies to all 7 of my loyal readers for abandoning you these past months, I feel like some terrible combination of Dylan McKay’s father and Natalee Holloway.  I’m not even really sure what that’s supposed to mean, I’m still a bit rusty after not having used half my brain since April.

Now I could bore you with excuses of why I stopped writing, or I could just let you enjoy this alternate ending to the new Yogi Bear movie.  (WARNING:  Not for kids, unless your kids have a great sense of humor and have seen the movie The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, in which case, go ahead and give yourself a gold star for awesome parenting).

What I wouldn’t give to be at an actual showing of that movie, sold out with a bunch of kids watching, and the projector guy intentionally switched out the real ending for that one.  Childish and cruel?  Probably, but take into consideration that my parents took me to see Bachelor Party in the theater when I was only 5 years old, and that should explain a lot.

So what have I missed the past 269 days?  We’re still in a bit of an economic crisis, gas prices are still going up and NCIS is STILL on television even though I’ve never met a single person who’s watched an episode.  Here’s a quick recap I guess of what I would have blogged about…

AMERICAN IDOL

Terrible season, first time I ever stopped watching or caring, which is unfortunate, b/c I enjoyed blogging about it.  I’m pretty certain Eddie Money was this year’s Idol winner after he beat out Falco and Lindsay Lohan’s little sister for the title.  Simon Cowell moved on from the show to make more money elsewhere.  Ellen DeGeneres left the show on her own terms b/c she didn’t want to do it without Simon, which marks the first time she’s ever uttered the words “I didn’t want to do it without (enter man’s name here).”  And Kara DiGiorno’s Pizza, um, well, let’s just say there was some lovely parting gifts for her to go along with her pink slip.  Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are entering as new judges, leaving me to care even less about the next season and wondering if the producers are regretting giving Randy Jackson that 100-year contract.

SPORTS

Is it too late for my predictions of the San Francisco Giants winning the World Series or LeBron James going to the Miami Heat?  It’s been a pretty incredible year in sports since Butler just missed hitting the greatest shot in the NCAA Championship game.  I actually just watched another highlight of Landon Donovan’s goal against Algeria that put the USA into the World Cup Round of 16.  Unfortunately, we lost that next match and now have to wait another 3 12 years for people in the US to care about soccer.  But I definitely look forward to hearing in 2014, that then will be the year soccer really catches on in America…Latin America.

I formed a company softball team this fall, the Cogent Connection, which was either one of the smartest things I’ve ever done or craziest…but probably a

We were all so happy in the photo b/c we knew we'd be on a cake someday.

combination of both.  Good way to build team unity and camaraderie inside and outside the office, but terrible to have to fill out a lineup each week that includes your boss, your boss’ boss, your co-workers, your friends and even your wife.  I’m proud to say that we finished with a winning record (8-7) and sustained a handful of major injuries, we probably should have been the Cogent Disconnection.  The best highlight though was our amazing comeback down 5 runs in the bottom of the last inning with 2 outs and nobody on.  The 1986 Mets have nothing on us!

MOVIES

We went on a cruise this year to Haiti/Jamaica.  Why am I telling you this?  Because the only movies that were being shown on the TV in our room was an endless loop of Valentine’s Day, When In Rome and some Miley Cyrus movie.  After day two I was seriously contemplating staying in Haiti and risk getting cholera than going back to my room ever again.  I’ll have plenty more to say about movies in a couple of days.

FOOD

Ate a gas station hot dog and didn’t get sick, so that was pretty cool.  Actually had a great dining experience at Bern’s Steakhouse in Tampa that might deserve its own column someday, but if you have three hours to kill, you love steak and you want to eat dessert in a special dessert room, oh and you’re in Tampa, definitely worth checking out.   Also worth checking out The Arctic Zone on Royal Caribbean…

LUCIE

On a serious note, for those who don’t know, on June 2nd we put our Boston Terrier, Lucie, to sleep. She had been battling many different ailments over the past year, but mostly a bad heart from her genetics that had weakened many of her other organs. I had never been a dog person prior to meeting Lucie five years ago, who was Maggie’s dog, but I instantly fell in love with Lucie and her shuffle walk, bossy attitude and loud snoring and she was the dog that taught me to be a lover of all other dogs and how to care for them.  She was my best friend and working from home for 3 years, some days she was my only companion.  Being in that room when she was put to sleep was the hardest day of my life.  I miss her greatly and will never forget her.

Goodbye my best friend.

BLANCHE

There’s no silver lining to be taken from Lucie’s passing, but several months later for my birthday, Maggie surprised me with a baby French Bulldog, which after about 3 weeks and two dozen name changes, we settled on naming her Blanche Bacon Fischer.  Yes, we named her after a Golden Girl, but it was sort of a fitting tribute to Lucie, as Rue McClanhan died the same day as our Lu.  Blanche was 12 weeks old and only 4 pounds when we got her and now she’s blossomed into an Outback Steakhouse bloomin onion and a robust 18 pounds.  She too, like Lucie, is bossy, shuffles when she walks and snores like a champ, but she’s super playful and her and BIFF get along famously.

Blanche (left) and BIFF (right). Not pictured: Ricardo Montalaban.

She did break her leg last month (which may have been caused by Lucie’s ghost, true story) and required surgery plus 6-8 weeks of rehab, but she’s almost back to full strength after only 3 weeks!  I’m sure there will be plenty more adventures to report of from her and BIFF throughout the years.  (Hint:  there’s a rumored wine country trip that the two of them are planning for next summer, plus I hear they’re both taking battle-axe lessons at the YMCA)

That’s about all I got for now.  See, you didn’t miss a lot over these past few months, but the good news is, I’ll be back on Friday with a SPECIAL Fischer Friday Five, unless I disappear for another 9 months, you never know.

Thank you all for reading again.  Looking forward to interacting with everyone on the message board and getting back into the blog again.

Jarrett

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4 Responses

  1. You forgot to mention me! I have 2 more CDs to sell!

  2. Jarrett, since last you acknowledged us I too had to put my
    dog down. 10 years we had Bailey our Chesapeake and it’s been 5
    months since he died due to MS complications (who knew DOGS got
    West Wing diseases?) I’m getting choked up just typing this so I
    know how hard that room can be. Welcome back On a lighter note, was
    Veronica Mars, I mean Kristen Bell’s ass good enough to make When
    In Rome worth it?

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