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SAS Movie Review – The Fighter

Can I go the distance and watch an entire Marky Mark movie?  Does The Fighter stand a puncher’s chance at winning at the Oscars?   Or will it get knocked out by the competition?  Can I come up with any more boxing terms?  Uppercut.  Yes I can.

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy…

THE FIGHTER

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American Idol Recap – Nashville

In case you missed it, click here for last night’s recap of the 2-hour Milwaukee show. Same format as always, I’m going to give you a recap of all the performances shown in ten words or less. Sometimes I cheat and go over, but who are you, the blog police? Hopefully no one is writing a nine words or less blog.

Tonight we’re in Nashville, and we get Darius Thomas belting out a 20 second long high note while both BIFF and Blanche are looking like they might want to jump thru the TV and punch Darius.  I’m gonna allow it.

Christine McCaffrey – Maggie – “She can’t even speak right.” Me – “She can’t even see straight”

*Rob Bolin / *Chelsee Oaks – this qualifies as one of the strangest things on Idol.  Ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend who duet together but can’t get along even as friends right now.   Best part was Chelsee’s current boyfriend there as well looking incredibly awkward.  Move over Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston, I’m now rooting for Rob and Chelsee to get back together.

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American Idol Recap – Milwaukee

Delayed recap thanks to the most bizarre snow storm I’ve ever seen. At no point in time should a normal 30 minute commute take 10+ hours.  So it’s a day late,  but if you missed it last night or want a quick refresher of what you saw (or didn’t see), here’s my 10 words or less recap of each performance.

“Oh, there’s a new opening credits,” notes Maggie.  Only took 3 episodes for her to notice.

Idol is live (well it was six months ago) from Milwaukee, home of former Idol bronze medalist Danny Gokey, but more importantly this is a city of rich history.  Isn’t that right Alice Cooper?

(As always, contestants who make it to Hollywood are listed with an asterisk)

*Scottie McCreery – country version of former contestant John Stephens

Steven Tyler just uttered the rarely used phrase “f*** a duck,” to which Jennifer Lopez suggested they edit that to “suck a duck.”. Yeah, because that’s a lot more kid friendly.

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Fischer’s Friday Five

I’ve got an apple pie in the oven and Maggie’s watching the last 15 minutes of some Housewives show, I think it’s Cleveland-based, I don’t know, so I’m going to ditch my usual classy style and bust out a quick Top 5 for all y’all and then you’re free to enjoy your weekend. Again, be warned, this is being written quick with zero thought or spell check – basically no different then every other blog post.

I’m Jarrett, It’s Friday, and here’s my five…

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American Idol Recap – New Orleans

Ah yes, that time of year where FOX over saturates us with as many American Idol episodes as they can possible cram on to our DVRs. This is actually the first season that they’re airing weekly on Thursdays. It doesn’t really change the fact that I’m still going to be an Idol addict and watch this show until I’m wearing adult diapers and need to be changed every hour or so.  And since I’m only 31 years old, I’ve probably got another 2-3 years until that all happens, so might as well as enjoy another hour of auditions tonight (and clean underpants).

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American Idol Recap – Opening Night

I swore when I started this blog up again that I wouldn’t write about American Idol . After all, trying to recap last year’s horrendous season caused me to become burnt out on blogging as well as watching Idol. So I gave up on writing about Idol about 3/4 of the way thru the season, which isn’t very professional, but then again neither was the garbage performances that were being put up there each week last season. Crystal Bowersox was the only real talent, but you knew she wasn’t going to win because, since nobody votes for people with bad teeth to win (see Elliot Yamin, Jewel on Dancing With the Stars and Mike Tyson on The Bachelor).

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Fischer’s Friday Five

For many of you, this upcoming Monday is a day off of work celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.  Sadly where I work, the only recognized holidays are Saturdays and Sundays.  However, that will not deter me from paying my respects for the most important man in civil rights history on the upcoming 25th anniversary of MLK Day; except for the part where I still go into work on Monday while everyone else sleeps in.

Martin Luther King had a dream, a vision, that was heard by millions, which is so very impressive especially considering I can’t even get Maggie to listen to the dreams I have about being chased down the hall in my old elementary school by midgets juggling watermelons.

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