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American Idol Recap – Los Angeles

In case you missed it, click here for last night’s recap of the lackluster Austin show. Hopefully that’s the ringing endorsement you were looking for to click on the link.  By the way, I’m not in a good mood tonight, so it will show in this recap if the people they show are awful.

Tonight we’re in Los Angeles, which seems like an odd place to have an audition round.  I mean, what do people say when they make it thru to Hollywood?  Here’s my Top 10 guesses…

5. I’m going to…go down the street!

4. I’m going to Hollywood…but they’re making me have a layover in Omaha!

3.  I’m going to…take the escalator downstairs to the auditorium to perform!

2. I’m going to Hollywood…Florida!

1. I’m going home for a few hours to take a nap before coming back to sing again!

Idol opens with recaps of past auditions this season from Brett Loewenstern, Lauren Alaina and Casey Abrams…which basically is their way of telling us that the talent pool is pretty shallow this year, so focus on these three since we’re going to make sure they make the Top 24.  I’m not having a good feeling about tonight…and it’s not b/c of the two double cheeseburgers I ate from McDonald’s today.

Um, Idol’s partnering up with MySpace for online auditions?  What the hell is MySpace?

Victoria Garrett – good to see Rudy Huxtable again, but she didn’t get the Cosby singing gene.

*Tim Halperin – bland voice, not much range, but since he looks like Lee DeWyze they put him through

I should point out that Steven Tyler is wearing an Aerosmith t-shirt.  What do you think about that Jeremy Piven? “You’re wearing the shirt of the band you’re going to see…don’t be that guy.”

*Justin Carter – I honestly don’t know if they gave this guy a ticket or not.  He was ok, so I’ll say he got one, but nice job Idol for leaving us questioning if he got one.

Daniel Gomez/Isaac Rodriguez – thank you Idol for wasting near 10 minutes of these two moronic friends.  Idol producers, what you’ve just aired… is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in their rambling, incoherent singing were they even close to anything that could be considered talent. Everyone in America is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

*Karen Rodriguez – kind of like a Latina Raven-Symone.  That’s about as nice a thing I’ll say tonight about a contestant.

Tynisha Roches – most annoying contestant ever, congrats you’ve got that going for you.

*Heidi Khzam – good belly dancer, below average singer, gee I wonder why they put her thru?

Matt “Big Stats” Franco – wasn’t he a pinch-hitter for the Mets?  I’d like to point out his friend Jeremy that’s with him looks like a heavy autistic Ben Affleck.

Wow, either I’m really cranky tonight or this is the worst week of Idol ever…yesterday they showed nothing but mediocrity getting thru and tonight it’s nothing but annoying terrible auditions.  I miss “Pants on the Ground” and “You are my Brother” guys.

William Roberts – someone get that cat out of the microwave!

Jeannette Manning – looks like Eli, sings like Peyton, has talent like Cooper

Daniel Hall – where’s Michael C. Hall (Dexter) when you need him to butcher someone.

Anthony Granger – does “Pants on the Ground” song, but that’s not what I had in mind.

Arista Pemberton – seriously Idol?  five straight awful in a span of two minutes…let’s focus on talent this year please.

*Mark Gutierrez/*Aaron Gutierrez – only sound good b/c they followed the previous five jackwagons.

Cooper “The Human Tornado” Robinson – wow, I miss Simon and Paula.  Epic fail tonight Idol.

RANKING THE GOLDEN TICKET WINNERS TONIGHT
1. Karen Rodriguez
2. The Gutierrez Brothers
3. Justin Carter
4. Heidi Khzam
5. Tim Halperin

Wow, what a terrible two nights of auditions.  Hopefully next week in San Francisco is better, b/c it can’t get much worse.

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3 Responses

  1. Cooper Robbinson had the most talent of anyone in L.A. I’m pissed that he was a coward and couldn’t stand strong in front of the washed up panel of judges. Steven was shocked because he finally found somebody that out “leather-faced” him. Playing Sly and the Family Stone was genius by idol production staff on cooper’s exit.

  2. Justin did make it through to Hollywood. Randy and Steven loved him. I’m not sure why they only showed the one bad comment from any of the judges. Nigel actually got Secret licensed for Justin so it could air. And they chopped it down so they could fit in the pall bearer guy and the James Brown guy? Really?

  3. GOSH.! CAN YU GUYS BE ANYMORE HARSH. I JUST LOVE THE FACT THAT THE PEOPLE THAT RIGHT CRAP ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE DONt EVEN HAVE TALENT! I love it !

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