American Idol Recap – Hollywood Round

Remember all those contestants that yelled “I’m going to Hollywood” the past month? Yeah, me neither, but thankfully we’ll get a refresher tonight of all the yellow ticket winners and their quest to be mildly famous and then ultimately overshadowed by whoever wins $5,000,000 on X-Factor in the fall.

Looking back, here’s who I currently have ranked as the Top 15 best so far…
1. Lauren Alaina
2. Stefano Langone
3. Casey Abrams
4. Jackie Wilson
5. Chris Medina
6. Robbie Rosen
7. Caleb Johnson
8. Rob Bolin
9. Brett Loewenstern
10. Jordan Dorsey

Ok, stopping at 10, b/c it was struggle to remember who some of these people were.

Should be interesting to see how Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler handle having to be critical of those they already sent thru to this round.

8:01 – Ryan Seacrest lets us know that this is the BIGGEST Hollywood week ever, b/c they have twice as many contestants here than ever before.  Considering I just struggled to come up with a Top 10 of best performances so far, I’m a little worried that this could be a long hour.

8:04 – nervous Pippi Longstocking/Gallagher offspring Brett Loewenstern kicks things off.  And it’s a solid kick, nicely done.  Maggie says “I thought that was a girl”  Good feedback.

8:05 – And Brett makes the first cut!  Along with someone named Cynthia and an unnamed black guy.  I don’t know about y’all, but I’m rooting for unnamed black guy.

8:06 – somehow crazy New Yorker Rachel Zevita makes it through to the next round.  She’s becoming this year Tatiana Del Toro already to me.  If only there was a wood chipper on the stage.

8:07 – Thia Megia welcome to the next round.  Haven’t seen her before, I think she was a victim of a DVR mishap during the Milwaukee auditions.  And Casey Abrams is through, sweet!

8:09 – overly bubbly teen Victoria Huggins is going to need that optimism and insane happiness to comfort her as she’s the first named victim of Hollywood Week.

8:10 – the look on Victoria’s face when she got the bad news was priceless, although then she started smiling 5 seconds later, so I guess her meds kicked in.

8:12 – the new AT&T commercial where the guy asks his friend on the ski lift if it’s cool for him to ask his ex-girlfriend out is a direct violation of the bro code.  One year is enough time, but don’t ask the guy when he’s trapped on a ski lift and can’t go anyway, that’s just bad taste.

8:15 – Rule #1 of Idol, do not sing Celine Dion and do not sour Titanic like that.  Yes, I’m talking to you Paris Tassin

8:16 – James Durbin tries channeling his inner Adam Lambert, kind of torn.

8:17 – former Miss Teen USA Stormi Henley re-affirms Jennifer Lopez’ decision to not send her thru to Hollywood the first time.  However front-runner Lauren Alaina nails it again and oh god, her mom is not delightful to look at.

8:18 – Paris, James and Lauren all advance.  Surprised on Paris, but good for, she’s a hard-working mom and I’ll root for that.  Unfortunately it’s cloudy times for Stormi, as the judges rained on her parade as they didn’t feel the thunder in her voice and she was unable to catch lightning in a bottle.  I’m out of meteorology puns.

8:20 – Sentimental favorite Chris Medina makes it through and sounds better than his original auditions.

8:23 – Maggie – “whoa, check out this picture of Sofia Vegara from Modern Family without makeup on”  Me: it’s not pretty and she may make my list of celebs that I’m certain look terrible in the morning without makeup.  Gwen Stefani, congrats on being the #1 draft pick.

Ay yi yi

8:26 – a montage of contestants being nervous, which leads to a nice segway of the youngsters, 16- year old Hollie Cavanagh as the most nervous auditioner and then also 15-year old Jacee Badeaux as the youngest contestant who showed all poise and then 17-year old Robbie Rosen who was all confidence in his previous auditions.

8:27 – all three nailed it.  Even Hollie was 1000x better than her original audition.

8:28 – Steve Beghun, the tallest contestant, unfortunately there’s a height limit and he’s heading home.

8:29 – apparently also heading home are Sarah Sellers and Jacqueline Dupree, I honestly don’t remember either of them, so no big loss here.

8:30 – Heidi Khzam ran out of magic and will have to rely on her belly dancing skills the rest of her life.  Should be ok until she hits her 40s.

8:34 – Glee catches Bieber fever.  I think I’ll skip next week’s episode

8:36 – Montage of people who made it to Day 2 in Hollywood failing miserably.

8:37 – my favorite non-couple, Rob Bolin and Chelsee Oaks are hanging out with the self-proclaimed first power couple of Idol, Nick Fink and Jacqueline Dunford. Rob and Nick are roommates and so are Chelsee and Jacqueline, that’s an Idol coincidence, nice job producers.

8:38 – Rob channels his inner Ray Lamontagne which I’m a big fan of.

8:39 – Chelsee does a country number I’m not familiar with, but it was pretty good.  And both are thru to the next round!  Come on America, we need to get these two ex-lovers back together

8:40 – Nick underwhelms and Jacqueline does enough to get what should be enough to get through another day.

8:41 – Idol teases us with a commercial break saying one of Nick and Jacqueline make it through and the other goes home.  Marlee Matlin could tell you who was moving on.

8:46 – end of the line for Nick, no one is shocked, not even Jacqueline.  Nick pleads with the judges to keep him.  Not because he wants to be the next American Idol, but because he knows if he leaves and Jacqueline stays, it’s only a matter of time before she dumps him.  So really, he’s pleading with Jacqueline via the judges.

8:47 – Nick keeps singing while walking out of the auditorium.  Jacqueline is already planning the break up in her head.  Guaranteed.

8:48 – shot of Jacqueline texting somehow while Nick exits the room.  The wheels are already in motion.

8:49 – deep-voiced Scottie McCreery makes it thru with his original performance.

8:50 – same with Jackie Wilson and Jerome Bell.  Will the strategy to do what you’ve already done pay off for the 3?

8:51 – yes it does.

8:55 – Tiffany Rios, better known as “star boobs” has the line of the night when she says, “I’m tired of seeing people try to do what I know I can.”  That’s some foreshadowing.

8:56 – Poor boy Travis Orlando manages to make me hate Maroon 5 even more.  Random thought, these contestants that get the golden ticket to Hollywood, are they responsible for their own airfare to get here or is it taken care of by Idol?

8:57 – wow, somehow diva Rios makes it through.  Unfortunately, it’s back to the Bronx for Travis.  At least A-Rod is there, unless he’s still eating Cameron Diaz’ popcorn.

8:58 – going through also Clint Jun Gamboa, Julie Zorrilla, and 168 others including Naima Adedapo, Stefano Lagone, Aaron and Mark Gutierrez, Molly deWolfe, Emily Anne Reed , crazy Ashley Sullivan and unnamed black guy.

8:59 – that’s it for tonight, next week is the ever so popular Group Week, now I’m starting to get excited for this season.