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Fischer’s Friday Five

Several weeks ago, a rumor had circulated that there was going to be a sequel to The Big Lebowski, which is in my all-time top 5 favorite movies. Now I hadn’t been expecting or anticipating a sequel to this movie (::cough:: Ghostbusters 3 ::cough::), so this was a pleasant surprise and instantly had me salivating and waiting to see what was next for The Dude, Walter, Maude, Karl Hungus and Donnie’s scattered ashes. Unfortunately, this was a rouse perpetrated by Tara Reid (Bunny Lebowski), thus proving how stupid we all are for believing anything that she says. She may s my d for $1000, but I’d give that $1000 back to p her in the v.

Although that did lead me to think about what other great movies out there would I pay good money (apparently $12.50 is now considered good money) to see and what would the plot consist of.

I’m Jarrett, It’s Friday, and here’s my five…

TOP FIVE SEQUELS THAT SHOULD BE MADE

Honorable Mention: Titanic 2, Three Amigos 2 (or Six Amigos) and Pulp Fiction 2

Dishonorable Mention: Swingers 2 (no desire to see Vince Vaughn play the exact same character that he’s been doing for the last 10 years) and Timecop 2.

Worth Winning 2

This late 80s hidden gem came on the other day and I forgot how enjoyable this one was. Mark Harmon plays a ladies man (but come on, you already knew that), who’s challenged by his friends to not only get three girls to fall in love with him, but to also have each of them agree to marry him! I think there’s a time limit, but Mark Harmon of course succeeds and then the obvious shenanigans occur when they all find out about one another. In the sequel, a now 50-year old Mark gets bored with Madeline Stowe (the one out of the three he really fell in love with), b/c let’s face it, it’s easy to get bored quickly with Madeline Stowe, and his friend then challenge him to find three more girls, all between the ages of 21-25, none who have daddy issues, and he has to get all three to agree to marry him and then has to have a kid with each of them all born on the same day! In the final scene, all three women are in the same delivery room and Mark is forced to confess his plan before faking a heart attack and fleeing to a remote island off South America with Madeline Stowe, who he realizes is the true love of his life.

Shawshank Redemption 2

Life is good for Red and Andy, living on a boat off the coast of Belize, until one day they’re tracked down by a woman who claims to be his daughter-in-law (played by Regina King). Apparently, Red fathered a child before he went to prison, and now his son is back in that same prison that was once Red’s home for many years. After much back and forth deliberation and much to Andy’s pleading, Red decides to go back to the US and try to break his son out (played by Cuba Gooding Jr.). Andy can’t let his best friend go at this alone and joins him on this dangerous adventure. Final scene shows that Andy/Red are successful in getting Red’s son out (obviously named Blue), but it was all a trap as Red’s son works for the FBI and now Red/Andy are back behind the bars to live out the rest of their lives…or until Andy escapes again (Shawshank 3?)

Tin Cup 2

The movie opens with Roy McAvoy (Kevin Costner) drunk again hitting golf balls on the range, except now he’s on a really nice driving range that he owns and operates which he bought from the money he got from Rene Russo’s character life insurance policy died in a horrible blimp accident. 15 years have passed since his great run at the U.S. Open and although he qualified for the following year’s Open, he was too distraught over his wife’s death to participate. However, his caddy, still played by the lovable Cheech Marin, finds a loop hole that states he can still play in a U.S. Open of his choosing. So Roy decides to tee it up again and this time he’s got his eyes set on an even bigger prize, stealing the woman away from his new nemesis, Chip Sullivan (played by Jack Wagner; woman played by Elle Nordgren Woods). In the dramatic big scene, Costner in the same situation, needing only a birdie on the 18th hole to win the U.S. Open. After an errant drive in the right dirt rough practically into the crowd, Costner hits a tremendous second shot over the same water that crippled him 15 years ago and is able to two-putt for birdie to defeat Chip by one stroke. However, it’s revealed that Costner’s second shot was actually in a bunker, and not a dirt patch, and he grounded his club, so he was penalized two strokes and Chip becomes the eventual winner, gets the trophy and keeps the girl. Final scene is Roy back at the driving range, getting drunk, and hitting golf balls. Fade to black.

Over The Top 2

This idea comes courtesy of Eric Tarr in Orlando. Years have passed since the world arm wrestling tournament that Stallone wins in Vegas, and although the AAWAA (American Arm Wrestling Association of America) has been out of commission for years, underground clubs and ever some above ground clubs are hosting illegal arm wrestling battles. One of those is the smarmy kid from the first movie, who’s all jacked up now thanks to nothing but steroids and the shake weight. One night, he goes on a road rage and just starts smashing holes in his house, and finds a secret safe hidden behind one of the walls that has his real birth certificate in it. Turns out, Sly isn’t really that stupid kid’s dad and it was Robert Loggia all along. The kid then opens a lemonade and HGH stand, raises enough money and resurrects the AAWAA and issues an open challenge to Sly to face him there. Sly resists at first, until there’s some name calling, and then Sly caves. After a montage of training scenes set to some classic Spin Doctors music, the World Arm Wrestling tournament is underway and wouldn’t you know it, the kid and Sly face each other in the finals. The kid’s rage of finding out his dad has him super jacked up. And Sly, well, he’s pissed b/c room service got his omelette order wrong. Final scene, right as the finals start, you get this great moment where it shows both of them turning their hats around at the same time. They’re both not budging and it looks like we may never have a winner, until Sly tells him, that he may not be his real father, but he always considered him his real son. The kid gets all choked up, cries out “daddy” but then Sly slams the kid’s arm down and wins the title again! Oh, Bull Hurley is in the movie as well, but he lost both of his arms in a tragic helicopter accident, and isn’t able to compete.

Showgirls 2

Because it can’t be any worse than the first one? Although instead of Elizabeth Berkley, this time it’s Tiffany Amber-Theissen.

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