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American Idol Recap – Top 12 Males Perform

After weeks of auditions, solo performances, group performances, another solo performance followed by a duo or trio performance, and then another solo performance, a background check, a credit check, an eye chart test and probably several breathalyzers, we’ve reached the part where most people finally start to care – The Top 24.

12 guys and 12 girls vying to become the 10th American Idol winner and join the greats like Ruben Studdard, Fantasia,  Clay Aiken, Kris Allen and Lee DeWyze.  Tonight it’s the guys who will perform (although don’t like how it’s pre-recorded) and then tomorrow night it’s the girls, and then Thursday the bottom two male and female vote receivers will fade into oblivion (does anyone remember Ashley Rodriguez, Janelle Wheeler, Tyler Grady or Joe Munoz – last season’s first booted contestants?  Ok, I remember Janelle, but only because I’m rooting for her comeback).

In case you forgot who advanced or are watching for the first time this season, here’s who I have as the Top 12 guys going into tonight…

TOP 12 MALES
1. Casey Abrams
2. Paul McDonald
3. Stefano Langone
4. Clint Jun Gamboa
5. Jacob Lusk
6. Tim Halperin
7. Jordan Dorsey
8. Brett Loewenstern
9. Robbie Rosen
10. Jovany Barretto
11. Scotty McCreery
12. James Durbin

And already a twist, as Ryan Seacrest tells us that only FIVE guys will make it through.  Whaaaaaa?  So apparently the top 5 male vote-getters tonight and top 5 female vote-getters tomorrow night move on, and then the judges will pick wild cards to fill the rest.  Note, Seacrest did not say it would be two wild cards, so perhaps we have more than a Top 12 on the horizon.

New set, new judges, new format, same old Randy Jackson, and a Latino-fembot looking Jennifer Lopez.  Here we go…tonight the contestants can sing any song they choose (as long as it’s been approved by Idol and the artist who sang it).

Clint Jun Gamboa (“Superstition by Stevie Wonder) – this former karaoke host started this off as if I was at a karaoke, definitely grew stronger as the performance went on. Doing Stevie Wonder usually tends to lead to bad results, but if he’s judged on the second half of the song then he should be in good shape.  If he’s judged on those ridiculous glasses, he’s going to get punched in the gut and given a wedgie.

GRADE:  B-

Finally after 10 years, Idol realized that the internet does exist and are letting people vote online.

Jovany Barreto (“I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain) – apparently Maggie and her co-workers refer to Jovany as Arab Jarrett.  Thanks for the compliment I think.  But I guess we’ll completely overlook that he’s clearly not Arab.  Vocals were alright, but I kind of felt like it was something I’d listen to while slow dancing with a girl at my Bar Mitzvah.  Maybe people will start referring to me as the Jewish Jovany?

GRADE:  C-

Jordan Dorsey (“Oh My Gosh” by Usher) – if you thought Usher at the Super Bowl was bad and pointless, well then I give you the even worse encore performance.  Wow, even Randy Jackson had a look on his face like “what the f*** am I still doing here after a decade?”  Dorsey kept saying “it’s not me” over and over again when the judges called him out for singing a song not suited for him.  Come on, pull an Artest on the audience!

GRADE:  D-

Tim Halperin – (“Streetcorner Symphony” by Rob Thomas) – this wasn’t terrible vocally, but Tim doesn’t have much of a stage presence when not sitting behind a piano, as all he kept doing was pointing at the audience.  Granted, he sang a Rob Thomas song which is like trying to have good sex with a corpse (not that I’ve done that…today), but I feel like he’s better suited to being an extra on some show like Grey’s Anatomy or Weeds.

GRADE:  C+

Brett Loewenstern – (“Light My Fire” by The Doors) – Brett describes himself as a red apple amongst a bunch of green apple.  Ok then, I like to consider myself a ripe banana amongst a bunch of rotten brown bananas.  I think Brett as a red-head should be required by law to add the word “crotch” to the end of the song title every time he sings it.  My only thought right now is I wish someone would light Brett on fire.  This isn’t good.  Steven Tyler says Brett “did it again”, whatever “it” is.  Maggie says “that’s a boy, right?”  Solid commentary as always from her.

GRADE:  D

James Durbin – (“You Got Another Thing Coming” by Judas Priest) – I haven’t been a big fan of his so far, mostly because of the odd-shaped ears, but this was easily the best of the night.  It was controlled and he didn’t rely on the screeching to get the song heard.  This was like a combination of Mark Wahlberg’s Steel Dragon character in RockStar and a really good commercial for Rock Band.  Maggie says “Adam Lambert can suck it.”  Um, yes he probably would Maggie.

GRADE:  A-

Robbie Rosen – (“Angel” by Sarah McLachlan) – oh wait, this is who Maggie said she was calling Arab Jarrett.  Damn, there goes my Jewish Jovany campaigning.  Singing the ASPCA song isn’t really captivating the audience.  They should show a montage in the background of former Idol contestants who haven’t aged well or gained a lot of weight and are in need of a record contract for food and more drugs.  This was boring, but don’t worry, even if Robbie doesn’t make it through, you can see his father, Ralph Macchio, on this season’s Dancing With The Stars.

GRADE:  C-

Scotty McCreery – (“Letters From Home” by John Michael Montgomery) – I never would have guessed he would have made it this far in the competition, but as the lone country artist remaining, he’s a lock to keep moving on.  This was actually very solid and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the most successful male country artist to ever appear on Idol when all is said and done.  Assuming he doesn’t take the easy way out and murders Phil Stacey, Josh Gracin and Bucky Covington.

GRADE:  B+

Stefano Langone – (“Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars) – I think I overrated Stefano early on and am regretting it as I haven’t dug any of his last few performances, including this one.  I kind of wish he would have left this song just the way it was.  Oooh, Randy just busted out his first “you know, that I know, that you know” of the season.  By the way, random thought, why hasn’t Ryan Seacrest been approached to host the Oscars yet?  Not that I’d be a fan of that (I’m rooting for Charlie Sheen to host next year), but I’m sure we’ll see Seacrest hosting them within the next 5 years.

GRADE:  C

Paul McDonald – (“Maggie May” by Rod Stewart) – true fact, Maggie was named after this song.  This, along with Casey, was the performance I was looking forward to the most and it didn’t disappoint.  This is like listening to a hip, modern Rod Stewart (although I don’t think modern people use the word “hip” anymore).  I can’t tell if Paul’s teeth are just naturally that white, or that he hasn’t showered in weeks and his teeth are clean compared to the rest of him.

GRADE:  A-

Jacob Lusk – (“A House Is Not A Home” by either Luther Vandross, sorry Burt Bacharach) – Maggie thinks he looks like Kenan Thompson, but I’m saying RuPaul without the drag equipment on.  Is equipment the right word to use there?  This was a lot like James Durbin’s performance, where I expected it to be loud and out of control, but it was silky smooth.  Big compliments given to him, saying that Luther may be gone, but he lives on thru Jacob.

GRADE:  B+

Casey Abrams – (“I Put a Spell On You” by Ray Charles) – I’m glad he overcame his explosive diarrhea to be here tonight.  I’m proud to say I also overcame that to be recapping tonight (remind me not to eat Taco Bell for lunch anymore on Idol nights).  Very obvious that Casey was getting the pimp spot tonight (I’ll guarantee that Lauren Alaina goes last tomorrow night).  And a very deserved pimp spot indeed as Casey killed it.  This was soul, this was blues, this was funk all rolled into one, a solblufunk if you will.  Not only that, he knows how to work the audience and tell a story thru the song.

GRADE:  A-

PREDICTIONS

Definitely Advancing:  Casey Abrams, Jacob Lusk and James Durbin

Probably Advancing:  Paul McDonald and Scotty McCreery

Maybe Going Home:  Clint Jun Gamboa, Jovany Barreto, Stefano Langone and Brett Loewenstern

Definitely Going Home:  Jordan Dorsey, Robbie Rosen and Tim Halperin

My New Top 12 Males After Tonight

1. Casey Abrams
2. Paul McDonald
3. Jacob Lusk
4. James Durbin
5. Clint Jun Gamboa
6. Scotty McCreery
7. Stefano Langone
8. Tim Halperin
9. Robbie Rosen
10. Jovany Barretto
11. Brett Loewenstern
12. Jordan Dorsey

And just to recap for tomorrow, here’s how I rank the ladies…

TOP 12 FEMALES
1. Lauren Alaina
2. Pia Toscano
3. Thia Megia
4. Lauren Harris
5. Karen Rodriguez
6. Ashthon Jones
7. Julie Zorrilla
8. Kendra Chantelle
9. Naima Adedapo
10. Haley Reinhart
11. Tatynisa Wilson
12. Rachel Zevita

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2 Responses

  1. Casey killed it last night! Of all the contestants in the history of Idol, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be stuck on an island with one of them so badly. Not including Antonella.

  2. […] For a recap of last night’s Top 12 guys performing (most rather admirably), check it out here. […]

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