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SAS Movie Review – Bad Teacher

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy.

BAD TEACHER

I’m not a fan of Cameron Diaz, in fact it’s very hard to look at her stretched out, over-tanned face over the course of 90+ minutes.  That being said, this was easily her most enjoyable role in well over a decade.  Seriously, not since Y2K did she have any roles where she contributed to a good movie she was in (I’ll argue all day that she was not the best option in Vanilla Sky or Gangs of New York).  But Bad Teacher was simply put, a funny script, solid acting and the first time I didn’t mind that old face of hers since Any Given Sunday (1999).

On the heels of Bridesmaids, which I have been singled out as the only person in America that didn’t think the movie was funny, this was a refreshing comedy that didn’t necessarily rely on toilet humor to get the laughs across.  A good comedy doesn’t go for the home run of over-the-top or gross out jokes and then sits back the rest of the film and get sappy, but instead should keep you laughing throughout, even if it’s not Ben Stiller zippering his beans above the franks.  And that’s what you’ll get for 90+ minutes with Bad Teacher, solid laughs throughout.

Although Diaz did a stellar job in keeping the movie together throughout, the supporting cast might have been the true stars.  Jason Segel surprisingly continues his run of being a funny leading man (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I Love You Man) and I wouldn’t be shocked if he is this decade’s Vince Vaughn, although I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.  Justin Timberlake’s sensitive character was just goofy enough where it was believable verging on ridiculous and with his previous roles in Alpha Dog and The Social Network, he’s proving that he could possibly challenge Will Smith for best singer/actor of our generation.  And little unknown Lucy Punch (terrible stage name), holds her own as the “good teacher” to Cameron Diaz’ title character.

The movie is funny, but this face, isn't.

Throw in a couple of short funny cameos from Eric Stonestreet (Cameron from Modern Family) and Thomas Lennon (Lt. Dangle from Reno 911) and Bad Teacher becomes a well-rounded comedy that may not ultimately have the same appeal as Bridesmaids or The Hangover, but isn’t a bad way to spend a night out at the movies.

GRADE: B+

Special thanks to AMC Theaters for sponsoring this review. If you’re going to the movies, I recommend AMC Theaters, they serve beer there. Just kidding, they don’t, but they’re still a pretty cool and comfortable place to watch a movie.  Actually some theaters do sell beer now, so go to those first, but if you don’t have any in your area, a regular AMC will do just fine.

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Fischer’s Friday Five

So apparently the Oscars were a couple of weekends ago and from what I saw it was fairly unimpressive. James Franco might have made David Letterman look like a great choice for host and Anne Hathaway was trying way too hard. By the way, is it just me or has she lost about 90% of her hotness over the past five years? I’m not even she did anything wrong except aged awkwardly. I’m probably in the minority there but just thought I’d see if anyone agrees.

One thing I was happy to see was Natalie Portman win the Best Actress award for several reasons. First, she’s from my home town of Syosset, Long Island (represent) and second, while her main competition Annette Benning was good in The Kids Are All Right, I didn’t think the performance was Oscar worthy, especially since she was on the screen as much as, if not less then Julianne Moore. But Portman gave it her all in Black Swan and it was so good she decided to get knocked up by one of her dancers in the movie. So for that we celebrate her.

I’m Jarrett, It’s Friday, and here’s my five…

TOP FIVE NATALIE PORTMAN PERFORMANCES

Quick note, I did finally see The King’s Speech last week and while Colin Firth absolutely deserved the Oscar, I can’t come up with five movies that he was in that I like, in fact the only good one he did was Love Actually (the best chick flick ever, totally acceptable for guys to watch). Also this is a list of her best performances and not necessarily the best overall movie.

Honorable Mention: The Professional – that’s about it

Dishonorable Mention: just about everything else she’s done (Anywhere But Here, Mars Attacks, Star Wars I thru III, V For Vendetta, etc.)

Heat

Not that large of a role here playing Al Pacino’s daughter but considering all the crappy roles she’s had and how awesome this movie is (yes that goes against my criteria for the list), it sneaks into the Top 5.

Garden State

Her first real non-Star Wars role as an adult, and she was a standout in this little indy flick written and directed by Zach Braff (white Scrubs).  A bit of a depressing film (in fact, most of her good films are based on depressing roles), but combined with a killer soundtrack this is one worth checking out.  Plus, there’s a great scene of shooting an arrow directly in the air and dodging it on the way down.  Or as we call it in the Fischer household – Sunday afternoons.

Closer

Quite possibly the most disturbing movie I have ever seen that involves love, sex and relationship (good and bad).  If you haven’t seen it and you’re not depressed, check it out.  Clive Owen, Jude Law, Julia Roberts and Portman as on-again, off-again lovers and fighters.  I’m not even entirely certain what the purpose of this movie was excite to drub up bad memories for most probably, but Portman was outstanding and sexy here, and her scenes with Clive were the highlights of the movies (both won Golden Globes for this and were nominated for Oscars).

Black Swan

So good, that she might actually win an Oscar for this role…oh wait, nevermind.  Considering the scenes with Mila Kunis, I’m not sure why I don’t have this ranked as her best performance ever.

Beautiful Girls

Obviously not a better movie than Black Swan, but there was just something so mesmorizing about this performance of hers, that you couldn’t help but notice her and think that she had a future in Hollywood.  It’s next to impossible to make a movie that also stars Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Rappaport watchable, but kudos to Natalie for pulling it off.

Fischer’s Friday Five

Several weeks ago, a rumor had circulated that there was going to be a sequel to The Big Lebowski, which is in my all-time top 5 favorite movies. Now I hadn’t been expecting or anticipating a sequel to this movie (::cough:: Ghostbusters 3 ::cough::), so this was a pleasant surprise and instantly had me salivating and waiting to see what was next for The Dude, Walter, Maude, Karl Hungus and Donnie’s scattered ashes. Unfortunately, this was a rouse perpetrated by Tara Reid (Bunny Lebowski), thus proving how stupid we all are for believing anything that she says. She may s my d for $1000, but I’d give that $1000 back to p her in the v.

Although that did lead me to think about what other great movies out there would I pay good money (apparently $12.50 is now considered good money) to see and what would the plot consist of.

I’m Jarrett, It’s Friday, and here’s my five…

TOP FIVE SEQUELS THAT SHOULD BE MADE

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SAS Movie Review – Black Swan

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy.

BLACK SWAN

I can probably simplify this in a few words.  Ladies (and men who like other men), you’ll like the movie for all the ballet involved.  Men (who don’t like other men) and ladies (who like other ladies) you’ll like the movie for some Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis hot, although brief, action, but enough to make me wish there was a sequel.  People that are asexual, vampires or Canadian, you’ll probably enjoy the movie because it’s directed by Darren Aronofsky, who did some other intense films such as Requiem For a Dream, The Wrestler and Pi.

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SAS Movie Review – The Fighter

Can I go the distance and watch an entire Marky Mark movie?  Does The Fighter stand a puncher’s chance at winning at the Oscars?   Or will it get knocked out by the competition?  Can I come up with any more boxing terms?  Uppercut.  Yes I can.

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy…

THE FIGHTER

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Fischer’s Friday Five

I’ve got an apple pie in the oven and Maggie’s watching the last 15 minutes of some Housewives show, I think it’s Cleveland-based, I don’t know, so I’m going to ditch my usual classy style and bust out a quick Top 5 for all y’all and then you’re free to enjoy your weekend. Again, be warned, this is being written quick with zero thought or spell check – basically no different then every other blog post.

I’m Jarrett, It’s Friday, and here’s my five…

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SAS Movie Review – True Grit

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy…

TRUE GRIT

With only 45 days to go until the Oscars and the nominations to be announced very soon, I’ve made it my civic duty to see every important film that could be/should be nominated and let you know if it’s not only Oscar worthy, but worthy of your time.

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