• Good To See You!

  • Twitter Me This

    • SNL just blew the opening Charlie Sheen skit. Going to bed instead of watching this unfunny show. #winning 8 years ago
    • Best idea I've heard so far this week - have Charlie Sheen host next year's Oscars. Highest ratings ever! 8 years ago
    • I still can't believe that Kathryn Bigelow directed Point Break. I am an EFF-BEE-EYE agent. #oscars 8 years ago
    • Wow, first the Globes and now the Oscars fail to recognize Corey Haim. Feldman's gonna be pissed. 8 years ago
    • After loss to #knicks, Miami Heat now 14-15 against teams with a .500 record or better #justsayin 8 years ago

Fischer’s Friday Five

Big game this weekend folks.  Everyone’s gonna be watching the Hartford vs. Albany women’s college basketball, ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhh.  Ok, I’m sure you’re all excited for the big event airing on FOX come Sunday night, it’s been too many weeks without an all-new episode of Glee so I’m friggin stoked!

Something tells me the Glee Zombies would destroy either the Packers or the Steelers


Ok, sure there’s the Super Bowl, but it’s been two weeks since the last football was played, so I figured everyone wouldn’t care anymore.  Yeah right, come on, let’s get this party started already.  Yes, that was a slight nod to the Black Eyed Peas halftime performance (my favorite prop bet of the weekend, Fergie pees her pants while performing +900).  My prediction for the game is at the end, but first…

I’m Jarrett, It’s Friday, and here’s my five…


By the way, next week’s Fischer Friday Five will be Top 5 Sequels That I Wish Would Be Made, so feel free to email me any and all suggestions.  But with the Big Game less than 48 hours away, its time to focus on the teams involved, or in this case the names of the teams involved.

Honorable Mention: The Rat Pack, Pac-Man, glam metal band Steel Panther and Steel Cut Oatmeal
Dishonorable Mention: Steel Magnolias, Fudge Packers, 6-Packs (I don’t liked beer in a can or The Situation’s abs) and Pac-Sun

Continue reading

Fischer’s Friday Five

For many of you, this upcoming Monday is a day off of work celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.  Sadly where I work, the only recognized holidays are Saturdays and Sundays.  However, that will not deter me from paying my respects for the most important man in civil rights history on the upcoming 25th anniversary of MLK Day; except for the part where I still go into work on Monday while everyone else sleeps in.

Martin Luther King had a dream, a vision, that was heard by millions, which is so very impressive especially considering I can’t even get Maggie to listen to the dreams I have about being chased down the hall in my old elementary school by midgets juggling watermelons.

Continue reading

NFL Overtime? More like Blow-vertime

How’s that for a classy title?

I was going to write a quick movie review tonight of True Grit until I was listening to sports talk radio on the way home and apparently I didn’t pay enough attention when the new overtime rule came out after last season.  I caught the gist of it though, in that both teams are guaranteed a possession in OT unless the first possession involves the wind chill dropping below 20 degrees and an ostrich laying an egg at midfield before the entire cast of The Facts of Life does a conga line during a touchdown celebration.  Something along those lines.

Continue reading


Sorry for the absence of a Fischer Friday Five this past week.  The amount of hate mail that I got in response to it would make Erin Andrews’ lawyers jealous.  Unfortunately I have been absolutely swamped with a variety of mediocre excuses and like my olden days of being a waiter at Bennigan’s (RIP), I’m in the weeds now.  Literally, so many weeds to pull in the yard, and the harsh winter has taken a rough toll on our land, so we spent the entire weekend having to deal with that.

With the Madness coming to an end and coupled with me heading out of town the next two weekends, the blog is taking a virtual vacation for the next two weeks, but it promises to be back bigger and better than before.  Ok, maybe not bigger, and possibly not better, but it will be back.

In fact, here’s what you’ll have to look forward to…

– the usual suspects of Fischer Friday Five, SAS Movie Reviews and American Idol Blog (hopefully by then, Tim “keyboard smash” Urban will be gone).

– the Steve WenPetren Project (working title – real name TBA); I will be taking a weekly golf lesson from club pro Steve and will be chronicling my hopeful turn from awful golfer to semi-awful golfer.

– a new  Tournament Showdown featuring 64 of the best television shows of all-time.

– a recap of my guest starring role on Gossip Girl (ok, not really, but you never know what might happen in the next two weeks).

Thanks for everyone’s support these first two-plus months, already surpassed over 10,000 viewers in that time.  Looking forward to more participation from everyone too, as it makes it more fun for me to write.

Before I go, one quick thought on the HUGE football trade that just went down and then my 2010 MLB Predictions (for mocking purposes).

Redskins will boo Donovan McNabb by Week 6, Eagles win the Super Bowl this year (Patrick Ewing theory in full effect).

AL East Winner: Boston Red Sox
AL Central Winner: Chicago White Sox
AL West Winner: Texas Rangers
AL Wild Card Winner: New York Yankees
AL Surprise: Baltimore Orioles – finish 3rd in the AL East and give Yankees a chase for the WC
AL Bust: Seattle Mariners – too much hype, not buying it.
AL MVP: Nelson Cruz, Rangers
AL ROY: Austin Jackson, Tigers
AL Cy Young: Jon Lester, Red Sox
Random AL Prediction: To go along with Seattle’s bust year, they give up and trade Ichiro to the Yankees who are 6 GB of the WC at the trade deadline.

NL East Winner: Philadelphia Phillies
NL Central Winner: Milwaukee Brewers
NL West Winner: Colorado Rockies
NL Wild Card Winner: St. Louis Cardinals
NL Surprise: Cincinnati Reds – give the Brewers and the Cards a run before running out of steam at the end
NL Bust: New York Mets – most think they’ll be bad, but I think they’ll finish last in the East, even behind the lowly Nats
NL MVP: Prince Fielder, Brewers
NL ROY: Jason Heyward, Braves
NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, Phillies
Random NL Prediction: Lou Piniella (Cubs) is the first manager fired this season.

AL Playoffs: Red Sox over White Sox, Yankees over Rangers, Red Sox over Yankees
NL Playoffs: Phillies over Cardinals, Rockies over Brewers, Phillies over Rockies

World Series: Phillies over Red Sox

Fischer’s Friday Five

Yes, I know it’s Saturday, and I’m sorry I didn’t have a Friday Five yesterday, but unfortunately we had to rush Lucie to the emergency room late afternoon yesterday with heart and liver complications.  Thankfully she’s home now and doing much better, but she needs to go on a radical diet immediately and is on three different types of heart medication to hopefully strengthen her heart and reduce the size of her liver.  Basically she’s fat.  Only 25 lbs, but they say she shouldn’t be any greater than 17 pounds!

So needless to say, she’ll be taking a sabbatical from the blog, which I really don’t mind, because her only contributions have been articles about her love for Mark Harmon and her excessive gas – both of which I can do without.

Back to the Friday Five, thankfully my middle name is Seth, so for one time only (or until I skip the next Friday post again), I give to you a modified column…

I’m Jarrett Seth, It’s Saturday, and here’s my six…

Continue reading

Lazy Man’s Decathlon, Part 1

So this past weekend my best friend Matt Steinberg (aka Steiny), came to town to visit for a few days.  Since this was a big weekend filled with lost of college basketball conference tournaments and a fridge full of beer, it was almost as if I made a trade, as ironically, Maggie left early Saturday morning for Las Vegas for a few days of a work trip.

Now granted, I wouldn’t mind being in LV this time of year, but having Steiny here was a good consolation. Not just because we can sit around and watch sports all weekend, but because finally after three years of discussion, we were finally going to embark on our Lazy Man’s Decathlon idea that we’ve been wanting to execute.

The concept around it is fairly simple.  We agree on 10 “sporting” events that pit us in a head-to-head competition, and whoever wins the most events is declared the inaugural champion.  Biggest issue and main reason why it took 3 years to get this started was finding the right timing to do it.  Steiny lives in Gainesville, Florida and I’m here in Virginia, so we needed to find enough time (sans women) to get it going.  Also, agreeing on the ten events wasn’t easy, as we originally had a list of over 30+ events including ridiculous stuff like Tetherball, Chess and Power Walking.  But finally on Friday night, after sadly watching our beloved Terps lose in the ACC Tournament, we came to an agreement, and these were the 10 events of the 1st Annual Lazy Man’s Decathlon…

1. Bowling
2. Tennis
3. Basketball (1-on-1)
4. Ping Pong
5. Billiards (9-Ball)
6. Beer Pong
7. Darts
8. Soccer Penalty Kicks
9. Mini-Golf
10. Poker (No-Limit Heads Up Hold ‘Em)

Also, in the case of a 5-5 tie after the ten events, the tiebreaker to determine the winner hasn’t been agree upon yet, but we’re leaning towards either Spelling Bee or Russian Roulette.

The goal was to at least get as many events as we could get done possible this weekend. Unfortunately, mother nature was a cruel lady, so tennis, soccer and mini-golf were all going to have to wait. A blessing in disguise though, as I did’t felt like I was in good enough shape, after putting on my winter weight, to run around on a tennis court. However, we still had two days to settle the score on 7 events, and here’s what transpired. Continue reading

Fischer’s Friday Five

I’m Fischer..it’s Fri…TIMEOUT…time to call an audible. (WARNING:  Before getting to this week’s Friday Five, you’re going to be subjected to a brief Super Bowl preview, complete with a prediction that you should probably bet against.)

Coming off the heels of the last two Super Bowl, which were exciting nail biters, this has a lot of to live up to, which scares me a little.  Giants/Patriots was supposed to be all about the Pats quest for perfection and many didn’t expect a close game.  Steelers/Cardinals never felt like it would be close as many didn’t give the Cards any chance, but they were seconds away from the upset.  But now, we’re faced with two teams that combined started their seasons 27-0, who both thrive off of their explosive offenses with their star QBs and who both get by with mediocrity on the other side of the ball.  So basically, anything short of a 45-41 final score has the potential of coming off as a disappointment.

That’s the bad news.  The good news is, I think we’re going to see something very close to a 45-41 score.  But who will win? Continue reading