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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 10 Perform)

Time for some R&B tonight on Idol, which should make for some awkward performances for everyone not named Michael Lynche or Crystal Bowersox (because she can sing anything).

Fun moment to start as Ryan tells everyone in the audience to yell out who they want to win this season.  Absent from the shouting was the name Tim, so hopefully that’s foreshadowing for this week.   Names I’m fairly certain I did hear someone yell – Sheamus, Biff, Gregor and Justin Guarini (but that last was one Justin himself yelling it).

Here’s how I have them ranked thru last week…

LAST WEEK’S POWER RANKINGS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Michael Lynche
4. Lee Dewyze
5. Katie Stevens
6. Didi Benami
7. Casey James
8. Andrew Garcia
9. Aaron Kelly
10. Tim Urban

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 11 Perform)

Previously on Idol, we had to say goodbye to what’s her face…oh yeah, Lacey Brown. Good for her, back in 2009 she lost out to Megan Joy Corkrey for the final female spot in the Top 24, and this year, she finishes 12th and still doesn’t get to go on tour. More importantly, she gets to join the merry band of fellow 12th place finishers – Jasmine Murray, David Hernandez, Brandon Rogers, Melissa McGhee, Lindsay Cardinale, Vanessa Olivares and Leah LaBelle. Let us all collectively say, “who?”

So we’re left with 11 hopefuls (well, more like 6 hopefuls and 5 time fillers), but more importantly, tonight we get a true mentor to the Idols, someone with whatever the exact opposite of oodles of talent is but has somehow sold millions of albums…yes, it’s Miley Cyrus! Seriously?  What is she going to mentor these contestant about? How to talk while chewing your own face?

Tonight they tackle the theme of Billboard #1s, so that means songs like “La Bamba”, “Love Shack” and “Ice Ice Baby” could be sung! I’m not holding my breath or anything, but chances are slim we’ll hear any of those, but if it’s like every other Billboard night in the history of Idol, there will be a Phil Collins song without a doubt.

Here’s how I have the remaining 11 ranked thru last week

LAST WEEK’S POWER RANKINGS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Lee Dewyze
4. Michael Lynche
5. Katie Stevens
6. Didi Benami
7. Casey James
8. Andrew Garcia
9. Aaron Kelly
10. Paige Miles
12. Tim Urban

Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 12 Perform)

After week’s of auditions, both good and bad, and dragging out the Hollywood Round for as long as humanly possible, and then after three more weeks of voting, we’re finally set with our 2010 Top 12 American Idol contestants.

Get ready to see on the big stage tonight, Lilly Scott, Toderick Hall, Alex Lambert and Katelyn Epperly! Oh wait, nevermind, they somehow didn’t make it. Instead, get ready to see Paige Miles, Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. Hooray! For the fantasy sports fans out there, this would be the equivalent of trading Larry Fitzgerald, Adrian Peterson, Chad OchoCinco and Pierre Thomas for Paige Miles, Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. It would kill fantasy team. (Somehow I bet my buddy Eric Tarr is actually trying to propose that deal to someone right now as we speak).

Back to the big show, it’s Rolling Stones night on Idol, and thru all the auditions and all the rounds, here’s how I have the Top 12 ranked as well as my wish list of what I’d like them to sing tonight….

AMERICAN IDOL TOP 12 (thru last week’s performances)
1. Crystal Bowersox (“Gimme Shelter”)
2. Siobhan Magnus (“Paint It Black”)
3. Lee Dewyze (“Beast of Burden”)
4. Michael Lynche (“Brown Sugar”)
5. Katie Stevens (“Honky Tonk Woman”)
6. Didi Benami (“You Can’t Always Get What You Want”)
7. Andrew Garcia (“Wild Horses”)
8. Casey James (“Tumbling Dice”)
9-12. Lacey Brown, Paige Miles, Tim Urban, Aaron Kelly (“I’d rather they not sing anything please”)

I’m giddy, here we go…..

Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 8 Guys Perform)

It can’t be a good sign that I’m actually dreading watching the guys sing tonight.  Unfortunately for Idol, they suffer from the curse of 3.   The worst seasons of Idol have always been when the male talent pool is weak which coincidentally has been multiples of three.  Season 3 had George Huff, John Stevens, Matt Rodgers and Jon Peter Lewis as the final guys in the 12.  Now all four of them can be seen nightly at the Marriott off Route 17 in Paramus, New Jersey.  Season 6 gave us Blake Lewis, Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey, Chris Sligh, Brandon Rogers and lest we forget, the one they call Sanjaya!!

So here we are in Season 9 and after two weeks the guys have been very underwhelming.  Even early front-runner Andrew Garcia is evoking shades of some sort of combination of overrated sports busts, Kwame Brown, Todd Van Poppell and Ryan Leaf.  The best male singer to date, Lee Dewyze might not even crack the Top 5 overall when you factor in the girls this year.

But as long as none of the guys sing something as dreary as Paige Miles’ performance last night, I’m going to remain optimistic and hope for the best, even if I am expecting the worst.

Here’s how I have the guys ranked…

MALE POWER RANKINGS (thru last week)
1. Lee Dewyze
2. Andrew Garcia
3. Casey James
4. Alex Lambert
5. Michael Lynche
6. Toderick Hall
7. Aaron Kelly
8. Tim Urban

Once again, everything is rushed tonight trying to cram 8 guys into one hour. Sounds like a day in the life of Jenna Jameson. Zing! Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Final 10 Girls or Guys?)

Not that I’m one to make excuses…ok, that’s a lie…but this is a wee bit of a hellacious week for me. I have a 3-day work training thing the next few days, therefore, I’m still going to recap Idol, but it will be in the “10 words or less” mold.  Besides, it’s still early enough in the competition where several of the contestants aren’t even worthy of 10 words, so look at it as me doing you a favor and saving you time as well.

Previously on Idol, my future ex-wife Janell Wheeler was sent packing, as was Eva Mendes 2.0 Ashley Rodriguez.  Let’s hope the girls can build on last week, which really isn’t asking much since most weren’t all that good.

Here’s how I have the final 10 girls ranked thru last week.

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (prior week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Didi Benami (2)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Katelyn Epperly (7)
5. Siobhan Magnus (8)
6. Lily Scott (9)
7. Michelle Delamor (11)
8. Haeley Vaughn (6)
9. Paige Miles (12)
10. Lacey Brown (10)

Uh, nevermind, apparently the guys are going this week.  So, quickly, useless guy #1 and useless guy #2 were sent home last week, and here’s how I have the guys ranked.

MY MALE POWER RANKINGS (prior week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Andrew Garcia (1)
2. Lee Dewyze (2)
3. Casey James (4)
4. Michael Lynche (3)
5. John Park (6)
6. Alex Lambert (7)
7. Aaron Kelly (9)
8. Toderick Hall (8)
9. Jermaine Sellers (11)
10. Tim Urban (10)

Apparently, my front-runner Crystal Bowersox has been hospitalized and unable to perform tonight, so that’s why the guys are going first.  That’s got to make her feel better, that they postpone an entire show just for her to get better.  Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Idol Darling – Crystal Bowersox!

Alright, so the guys will also only get 10 words or less, but in the case of Tim “how the hell am I still here” Urban, I’ll probably just smash the keyboard and see what comes out. Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Guy’s Night Out)

So after a slightly underwhelming start by the ladies last night, it’s the dawg pound’s turn to take the stage tonight, and since I’m still suffering from a wicked head cold, feeling achy and I’m being fake-sponsored by Nyquil again tonight, I’m going to try make this quick so I get to bed at an early hour. Who am I kidding, I just want to be done by 10, so I can catch the mini-marathon of Cougar Town.

Looking back to last week, here’s how I ranked the 12 guys going into tonight. And it’s official, Michael Lynche is here to stay! Chris Golighty, not so much.

MY TOP 12 GUYS
1. Andrew Garcia
2. Lee Dewyze
3. Michael Lynche
4. Casey James
5. Tyler Grady
6. John Park
7. Alex Lambert
8. Toderick Hall
9. Aaron Kelly
10. Tim Urban
11. Jermaine Sellers
12. Joe Munoz

In the biggest non-surprise of the evening, Andrew Garcia has got the pimp spot (going last). In the biggest actual surprise, Casey James is NOT wearing a blue shirt. Biggest upset since Buster Douglas beat Mike Tyson. And with that it’s go time as Seacrest tells us…”this…is….stop it Simon” (uhhh, ok).

Also, what’s up with Kara this season? She’s being very clingy next to Simon just hanging on his every word and looking to stroke his face like Chris Farley did to that muffin in Tommy Boy. Simon’s kind enough to give us his thoughts on the guys saying they looked nervous during rehearsal and if they forget their lyrics tonight or show their nerves, then their careers are over. Always encouraging words from the Brits. Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Los Angeles Auditions)

Idol goes back across the country this week to Los Angeles where 11,000 hopefuls are outside the Rose Bowl hoping to be the next superstar. The first contestant has entered the room…

Avril Lavigne – oh wait, nevermind, she’s a guest judge this week. How embarrassing, I thought she was trying out.

Neil Goldstein – wow Chris O’Donnell has really let himself go. Damn, I was hoping he’d make it through to the next round and be the best Jewish singer since Paula Abdul (yes, little known fact, Paula Abdul drinks the Manischewitz wine when she takes her crazy pills).

Hopefully the rest of the contestants aren’t as terrible and sweaty. Continue reading