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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 8 Girls Perform)

Just one more performance for the ladies is standing between tonight and making the overall Top 12.  Hopefully none of these ladies tonight will suffer the fate of last week’s eliminated contestants who I liked to call “Terrible Creed Singer” girl and “Actually Sings Worse Than Miley Cyrus Even Though I Didn’t Think It Was Humanly Possible To Do So” girl.

I do feel pretty confident before even hearing anyone perform tonight that this will be the end of the line for Lacey Brown and/or Paige Miles, but who else will join them?  I dunno, but that’s why I’m watching to find out.

Here’s how I have the remaining 8 ladies ranked thru last week…

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Katie Stevens
4. Lily Scott
5. Didi Benami
6. Katelyn Epperly
7. Paige Miles
8. Lacey Brown

Eight performances, one hour, so it’s gonna be rushed tonight…but thankfully there’s enough time to have Ellen sit on Simon’s lap.  There’s so many things wrong with that.  Number one is that Simon doesn’t like white women. Continue reading

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 10 Girls – for real tonight)

Very very long day…so no fancy pants intro tonight, except I’ll mention that my favorite Crystal Bowersox has overcome her diabetes complication and is ready to perform tonight. She might not be able to eat caramel, but she can sing circles around the rest of the girls.

10 words or less recap rules are in effect tonight.

Here’s how I have the final 10 girls ranked thru last week.

MY FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (thru last week)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Didi Benami
3. Katie Stevens
4. Katelyn Epperly
5. Siobhan Magnus
6. Lily Scott
7. Michelle Delamor
8. Haeley Vaughn
9. Paige Miles
10. Lacey Brown

Sadly, no Janell Wheeler or Ashley Rodriguez anymore. Janell, if you’re reading this…I miss you, call me!

Oooh, they’re saving the best for first, let’s get this going…

Crystal Bowersox – phenomenal! will download that performance from iTunes. glad she’s back!
GRADE: A

Haeley Vaughn – can’t believe I’d rather listen to Miley Cyrus sing this.
GRADE: D-

Lacey Brown – better than last week, but such a copycat performance.
GRADE: C+

Steiny has a better 10 words – “Sixpence will get none the richer after that performance”
STEINY’S GRADE: D+

Katie Stevens – judges were way too harsh and incorrect in their criticism
GRADE: B-

Didi Benami – see Katie Stevens, I must be hearing something different tonight
GRADE: B-

Michelle Delamor – see Haeley Vaughn, replace “Miley Cyrus” with Creed. God awful!
GRADE: D-

Sorry, after listening to Kara and Simon give her praise, this gets more than 10 words. WTF?!?! Did they divvy up Paula’s medication between them? Seriously, what are they listening to???

Lily Scott – oh boy, that was sneakily good. She’s gaining momentum.
GRADE: B+

Katelyn Epperly – good song, but performed wayyyyyyyy too slow, could’ve been better.
GRADE: C+

Paige Miles – wanted to hate it, but kind of didn’t mind it.
GRADE: B-

Siobhan Magnus – that WAS dope, Randy. Didn’t want it to end. Nice mohawk! (yes, 11 words, i cheated).
GRADE: A-

Girls are sooooooooooooo much better than the guys. Can we just make it 8 girls and 4 guys instead of this 6 and 6 b.s.?
MY BOTTOM THREE – Haeley Vaughn, Michelle Delamor and Lacey Brown
MY PREDICTION FOR AMERICA’S BOTTOM THREE – Haeley Vaughn, Didi Benami and Michelle Delamor
GOING HOME – Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor (I’m going to hope that American heard what I heard)

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Siobhan Magnus (5)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Lily Scott (6)
5. Didi Benami (2)
6. Katelyn Epperly (4)
7. Paige Miles (9)
8. Michelle Delamor (7)
9. Lacey Brown (10)
10. Haeley Vaughn (8)

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Ladies Night)

I’m going to start off by making an excuse. Tonight’s blog might be shorter than most nights since I’m feeling whatever is lower than “under the weather” and more importantly, it’s Maggie’s birthday today! So I’m only going to give a brief recap in between trying to not cough and sneeze on the birthday girl. What can I say, I’m a very loving husband!

But almost as important as Maggie’s birthday, it’s time to start voting on American Idol, as we begin the drawn out 3 week process of taking the current 24 final contestants and whittling them down to Top 12. To do that though we have to get rid of six girls and six guys who will be forever be banished into the world of obscurity along with names such as Jesse Langseth, Ricky Braddy, Luke Menard, Asia’h Epperson. See, I told ya, no one has seen these people since not making the final 12.

Up first tonight are the 12 ladies. Two of which will be gone by Thursday. So let’s admire Ellen’s lovely man suit and hope for the best tonight.

Before they start singing, here were my “preseason” predictions of the Top 12 girls, which I’m sure will look terrible in about three weeks.

MY TOP 12 GIRLS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Didi Benami
3. Katie Stevens
4. Ashley Rodriguez
5. Janell Wheeler
6. Haeley Vaughn
7. Katelyn Epperly
8. Siobhan Magnus
9. Lily Scott
10. Lacey Brown
11. Michelle Delamor
12. What’s Her Face (Paige Miles)

Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Denver Auditions)

I wonder if some higher power is trying to tell me something along the lines of  ‘don’t watch Idol this week.’  After postponing Tuesday’s night blog because of the Lost premiere, I then postponed it again (along with the Wednesday night blog) thanks to my father-in-law showing up and being sneakier than John Turturro in Mr. Deeds.  I almost had strike three tonight thanks to the impending snowstorm of doom.  But thankfully I did all my “end of the world” shopping yesterday, so now I have no more distractions and…..oooh, a shiny object….wait, what was I saying?

Actually, for those who are also going to be trapped indoors all weekend due to the storm or want to make fun of us east coasters, I’ll be doing a full weekend live blizzard blog for your entertainment and for my attempt at going insane.

But before that, we got two episodes of Idol to tackle, so in the words of the Black Eyed Peas, “boom boom pow.”  Um, I mean, “let’s get it started.”

We begin in Denver, where hopefully there are no South Park hopefuls trying to sing the brown note.  Lucky for us fans of plastics, we get treated to another round of everybody’s favorite Tanning Bed Barbie, Victoria Beckham.  Why they brought her back for more auditions is a bit odd, but then again, she was quite possibly in the oddest girl group of all-time.  I would have liked to have been in the room when they put together the Spice Girls.  Did they order off of a menu?  “Yeah, gimme a busty red head, some young looking baby-faced blonde girl, and do you have any scary black chicks?   What else do you have in the kitchen?  Can you make me a skinny robot with a terrible singing voice and no facial expressions?  Oh yeah, I guess we should have a side of talent, gimme an athletic girl who can carry more than one note.”

I still say they should make the guest judges audition to be on the show.  Hopefully there are no Spice Girls wannabes trying out, so let’s see what Denver has to offer. Continue reading