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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 24 Revealed)

In case you missed last night’s recap, where Idol was cruel enough to make me watch for two hours and only getting to find out 7 out of the 24 who made it through.

So tonight, we’ll either learn who the last 17 finalists are, or they’ll use the hour-long show to reveal only one more finalists and then we’ll have to tune in another 16 nights to learn the rest.

Here’s who is has already been told they’re about to be famous beginning next week…

GUYS
1. Michael Lynche (although maybe for the wrong reasons)
2. Casey James
3. Aaron Kelly
4. Lee Dewyze
5. Toderick Hall
(7 guy spots remain)

GIRLS
1. Didi Benami
2. Katelyn Epperly
(10 girl spots remain)

Unfortunately, the only people who are for sure not making the Top 24 are Shelby Dressel and Jessica “I just threw the worst temper tantrum on national TV when I got the bad news and am now very off-putting for future auditions and for men to date me” Furney.

Before the next spots are filled, here’s a look back to my power rankings thru last night, which are sure to change after tonight…

POWER RANKINGS (thru last night)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Andrew Garcia
3. Didi Benami
4. Katie Stevens
5. Ashley Rodriguez
6. Lee Dewyze
7. Janell Wheeler
8. Michael Lynche
9. Haeley Vaughn
10. Casey James
11. Katelyn Epperly
12. Mallorie Haley*
13. Tyler Grady
14. John Park
15. Siobhan Magnus
16. Alex Lambert
17. Thaddeus Johnson
18. Toderick Hall
19. Lily Scott
20. Aaron Kelly
21. Tori Kelly
22. Jeff Goldford
23. Tim Urban
24. Chris Golightly

37 contestants are still waiting to learn their fate, so here we go…. Continue reading

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Dallas Auditions)

It’s Doogie Howser Idol tonight in Dallas. Actually that’s a great idea for a new reality show, 12-year olds with no medical training or education, audition to become surgeons. The winner has to perform open heart surgery live on stage in front of millions.

Let’s hope that tonight showcases some good talent, as right now this season has been lacking in hopefuls. I mean, when Victoria Beckham and Avril Lavigne are in the top 5 best singers we’ve seen on the show so far this season, you know it’s been a rough go of it. Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Los Angeles Auditions)

Idol goes back across the country this week to Los Angeles where 11,000 hopefuls are outside the Rose Bowl hoping to be the next superstar. The first contestant has entered the room…

Avril Lavigne – oh wait, nevermind, she’s a guest judge this week. How embarrassing, I thought she was trying out.

Neil Goldstein – wow Chris O’Donnell has really let himself go. Damn, I was hoping he’d make it through to the next round and be the best Jewish singer since Paula Abdul (yes, little known fact, Paula Abdul drinks the Manischewitz wine when she takes her crazy pills).

Hopefully the rest of the contestants aren’t as terrible and sweaty. Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Orlando Auditions)

For the previous Idol audition episodes, check out the Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago recaps.

It’s O-town tonight on Idol, and no, not the terrible boy band from a few years ago. Although Orlando has given us boy band member Lance Bass, Gold Club member Tiger Woods, and “this guy” (fathers, keep him away from your daughters!)

Tonight’s guest judge is, Emmy and Tony award winner, Kristen Chenoweth, which is very fitting for Orlando, considering she sounds like Mickey Mouse. I never watched Pushing Daisies, but did enjoy Kristen on her guest spot on Glee this season. That’s Glee, the Golden Globes winner for best comedy, now available on DVD and new episodes returning April on FOX. Oops, shameless plug, let’s move on to the contestants.

Theo Glinton – it’s The Phantom Of The San Francisco Opera. He does sing like he’s a very angry hairdresser. Best part, watch in slow motion when they tell him he’s not Jennifer Hudson. You can almost see his soul get crushed by the metaphoric bus. Line of the night from Maggie, “are those mirrors on your face? Because I can see you’re not going to Hollywood.”

Seth Rollins – after being treated to a 5-minute montage of Cara/Kristen becoming BFFs and terribly quick-clipped auditions, it’s very refreshing to get a nice back story about a good dad who’s not “out with a divorce.” He has a nice voice, but it’s kind of simple and I don’t get much enthusiasm or excitement from him, but definitely good enough for Hollywood.

Commercial break – is there anyone in Hollywood who’s not in the Valentine’s Day movie? I think the only actors I didn’t see in the preview were Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage, but they’re probably hanging out at Starbucks writing the script for Vice Versa 2.

Jermaine Purifoy – 25 minutes in, and this is only the third audition we’ve seen that isn’t a two-second clip!  Not a good start coming off the heels of last night’s episode. Very good voice here, kind of like a poor man’s Stevie Wonder.  Kristen gives him a no-pun intended comment and calls his voice “pure”. Looks like he’s taking this go around more seriously than his last audition a couple of years ago when he tried out for Beer Pong Idol. Hmm, that could be an interesting concept for a new show. You have to sing while playing beer pong, we could probably get Seann William Scott to host.

Shelby Dressel – looking like a cross between Gina Gershon and Lexie from Grey’s Anatomy. It was a decent audition, especially considering she doesn’t have the ability to use the right side of her face. She also might be the first person to use the f-word in an audition and get through, which normally the judges wouldn’t look kindly to. So unfortunately, this is leading me to have terrible flashbacks of Scott McIntyre.

We only got to see 3 of the 18 that got golden tickets the first day, and I’m beginning to worry about this season if all we got to hear was Seth, Jermaine and Shelby. Also, Kristen got called away and sadly we are given no replacement for her. Couldn’t they have gotten a local celeb to fill in for a day? Wesley Snipes lives nearby, he could offer great feedback like “yes, you can sing Mariah Carey, but you can’t hear her.” Or if someone was debating between singing Barry White or Clint Black, he can say “let me give you a word of advice, always bet on black” (that’s a Passenger 57 reference for you non-Snipes people out there).

Jay Stone – yeah, just what Idol was lacking, another beatboxer to make it through. I was about to draw the comparisons to Season 7 runner-up Blake Lewis, until Jay claims he’s better than Blake. So is Jay saying he’s Jordin Sparks? Also, where is Blake nowadays? According to wikipedia, “Blake, who was dropped by Arista after one album, is getting a kick out of watching the new season of American Idol.” That puts him slightly ahead of Justin Guarini, who does not enjoy watching Idol.

Now it’s the time where Idol shows us three quick auditions that make it through and leaving us with very little to judge on…

Janell Wheeler – very nice, would have liked to hear some more.

Brittany Starr James – only got treated to her for a few seconds, but that was enough for the obligatory, Simon checking her out. He definitely has a type.

Kasi Bedford – rushed through her lyrics, she’s probably late for her shift at Space Mountain.

Cornelius Edwards – four easy words to get you a golden ticket and into Hollywood, “my pants done ripped.” Actually the best part was afterward when Cornelius goes to celebrate with his family, Seacrest picks up a little boy, who facial expression just screams, “my pants done ripped, I need an adult.”

Bernadette and Amanda Desimone – Jersey sisters who own a hair salon. I’ve got a bad feeling about this, like MTV is already planning a reality show called Jersey Shorn. They weren’t terrible and probably both deserving of the golden ticket. I don’t know who was who, but I think the one who looks less like a horse had the better voice.

Jarrod Norrell – said he was singing Amazing Grace, so he could “give it up to God”, but unfortunately forJarrod, God received the package and signed it “return to sender, and have him arrested.”

Before the commercial break, Seacrest previews a tragic back story for the final singer of the night, Matt Lawrence, and wonders what lies in the future for him. At first glance, I’m hoping its herpecin.

Matt Lawrence – considering he robbed a bank with a BB gun when he was 15 and spent four years in jail because of it, this is probably a more healthy alternative for him. It was a good performance, that Ray Lamontagne song suited his voice and made him sound genuine. Hopefully he doesn’t drawn comparisons to Michael Sarver, last year’s roughneck.

Well, that’s all Orlando had to offer, and it wasn’t much. Maybe one or two with a real chance at cracking the top 24. Hopefully we’ll get something more out of Los Angeles next week. On a positive note, Heidi Montag’s new album has sold less than 700 copies so far, so all is ok in the world.

RANKING THE GOLDEN TICKETS
1. Janell Wheeler
2. Matt Lawrence
3. Brittany Starr James
4. Jermaine Purifoy
5. Shelby Dressel
6. Seth Rollins
7. Non-Horse Desimone
8. Jay Stone
9. Cornelius Edwards
10. Horse Desimone
11. Kasi Bedford

OVERALL POWER RANKINGS
1. Mallorie Haley
2. Justin Williams
3. Ashley Rodriguez
4. Jermaine Sellers
5. Tyler Grady
6. John Park
7. Janell Wheeler
8. Katelyn Epperly
9. Matt Lawrence
10. Leah Laurenti
11. Paige Dechausse
12. Brittany Starr James
13. Benjamin Bright
14. Jermaine Purifoy
15. Brian Walker
16. Holly Harden
17. Keith Semple
18. Amadeo Diricco

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Chicago Auditions)

In case you need to catch up, check out the Boston and Atlanta audition recaps.

It’s the city of Chicago tonight for Idol, although I must say I was hoping when they said Idol was doing Chicago tonight, that we were going to get some Peter Cetera rocking the Karate Kid 2 soundtrack. “I am a man, who will fight, for your honor.  I’ll be the hero, you’re dreaming of.  We’ll live forever, knowing together that we…did it all, for the glory of love.”  We love you, Mr. Miyagi!!!

Seacrest briefly mentions that tonight’s city is the same place where Obama was from and wonders if the next American Idol can hail from the same place as our American president.  I believe that probably qualifies as the closest FOX has ever come to saying something positive about the left side. Then they follow that up and announce Karl Rove as the guest judge tonight.

Just kidding about Rove, instead we get country star, Shania Twain, still looking as good at 44 as she did at 34, although I still have a hard time accepting a country star who hails from Ontario.  The judges are seated, in a weird order tonight (Simon on the far left, Kara on the far right and Shania/Randy in the middle), and let’s hope some contestants in the Windy City actually blow us away tonight.  Ha, I made a weather joke, take that El Nino!

Katelyn Epperly – All due respect, but what a terrible back story to get us to care about her.  Her parents split recently, that’s it???  Although to be fair, when my parents separated about 9 years ago, the first thing I did was fly to England and try out for Pop Idol.  Also, her mom said that Katelyn’s dad “decided to divorce”  Since when is that a verb?  Is this a new thing like how recently football announcers say injuries as “out with a foot” or “out with a shoulder?”  So do we say that her dad was “out with a divorce?”  Oh yeah, she sang too.  It was pretty good, almost unique in a way and the judges seem to think there’s something to her.

Once we help Haiti out, can we turn our fundraising efforts towards saving Luke Wilson and Kris Allen?

Gotta love the Best In Show crew doing commercials for the U.S. Census – now THAT is some great casting.

Back from commercials and there’s someone talking about the many different nicknames of Chicago.  They left off, “The City Ruined By Jay Cutler”

Amy Lang
– apparently she’s Ryan Seacrest’s biggest stalker, no pun intended.  Maggie says “she laughs like Large Marge.”  Not only has she ruined Aretha Franklin’s “Dr. Feelgood”, she also ruined the Motley Crue version for me as well.  In fact, thanks to her “boob-boxing” (as Cara called it), she’s ruined my dinner for me too.

Charity Vance – Her mom says they’ve been watching Idol since she was 8 years old.  I all of a sudden feel like I should be eating my suppers at 4:30 in the afternoon. Very nice voice, but even though she has no problem singing at the local Hair Cuttery, she kind of reminds of someone who could be very overwhelmed under the lights of Hollywood.  Actually based on her skin, she’s someone who could be very overwhelmed by lights in general.

Crazy Accordion Lady – I might have dated her once on a dare, I’m not sure.

Purple Jacket Tom Jones Singing Guy – we need to see more of that audition, come on, he even busted out the Carlton dance!

Angela Martin – aww, it’s good to see her back.  It’s rare that I remember a former contestant coming back to tryout again.  Although, as much as I’m rooting for her, I’d like to enforce the rule that if you don’t make it past the Hollywood round, you shouldn’t get another chance.  That being said, she’s still got a great voice and hopefully she can avoid any more personal disasters this year.

Curly Newbern – well at least he answered the question of who inherit Dom DeLuise’s wardrobe when he passed away.  Curly might have gotten a ticket had he been daring and thrown in some low notes.

Alannah Halbert – she looks like a combination of Winnie Cooper and Six from Blossom.  Apparently her and Curly use the same singing coach too.

Brian Krause – Private Gomer Pyle lives!!!  Although that audition makes me want to cradle a shotgun in the bathroom.  (Full Metal Jacket reference people, no overreacting!)

Harold Davis – playing the Rocky music in Chicago doesn’t seem right.  Again, this would be a perfect time to bust out some Peter Cetera.  Way too many bad singers being showcased tonight, especially for a one hour show.

Chantelle Graczkowski – speechless.  Also now blind in my right eye.

John Park – I think I’ll just let Shania Twain do the talking here with her comments which included…”you have a beautiful bottom end,” “you have nice lips,” “you have a nice tone down there,” and “you have a good head.”  Good thing Shania is also “out with a divorce” otherwise things might have gotten weird on the homefront.

Paige Dechausse – probably one of the best of the night, but that’s not saying much when you’re up against Chantelle and Curly.  I’m just glad she was able to overcome her papercut when she was younger to make it here today.  Oh, ashtma, sorry, that’s much worse.

Justin Ray – yesssss, our first contestant rocking the Eriq La Salle soul glow this season.  If only he sang “Greatest Love Of All.”  SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!!!  (drops mic, walks off stage).

Keith Semple – both Maggie and I went “ooooh” at the same time.  He sounded like an American Brian Adams. I guess that’s why Shania said yes.

Marcus Jones – it has to tell you something, if he was the last audition of the night, made it through and I already forgot what he sounded like.

Overall, not a very strong night for Chicago as the auditions mirrored the Bears season.  They showcased a lot more of the bad than the good, and we only got to see 8 golden ticket winners (3 of which who were shown clipped together in the final 30 seconds).  Hopefully Orlando will offer us something better tomorrow,  but beware that they don’t show Orlando native “this guy”

RANKING THE GOLDEN TICKETS
1. John Park
2. Katelyn Epperly
3. Paige Dechausse
4. Keith Semple
5. Angela Martin
6. Charity Vance
7. Justin Ray
8. Marcus Jones

OVERALL POWER RANKINGS
1. Mallorie Haley
2. Justin Williams
3. Ashley Rodriguez
4. Jermaine Sellers
5. Tyler Grady
6. John Park
7. Katelyn Epperly
8. Leah Laurenti
9. Paige Dechausse
10. Benjamin Bright
11. Brian Walker
12. Holly Harden
13. Keith Semple
14. Amadeo Diricco

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Atlanta Auditions)

Welcome to Atlanta, the city that gave us both Clay Aiken and Fantasia.  That’s almost as bad as saying, welcome to Milwaukee, the city that gave us both Jeffrey Dahmer and Mrs. Garrett.

At least Simon has changed out of his white t-shirt for the Boston auditions and into a white t-shirt for Atlanta.  What’s sad is that t-shirt probably cost at least $100.

Dewone Robinson – the first contestant this season to sing his own material (never a good sign), also there’s no way this guy is 27 years old.  After the audition, he’s going to meet up with the Snuggle bear at a bar.

Keia Johnson – I wonder if I could pull off hot lime green jeans?  That could be a whole separate blog.  Pretty solid audition, and for those who remember my Best Oscars of the past 16 years breakdown, I definitely have a soft spot for Titanic.  Except for when Rose hogs the entire bed frame.  Not cool Rose, not cool.

Miriam Lemnouri – really she got through?  Apparently shrill voices are in this season.  Thanks a lot Miley Cyrus.

Noel Reese –  comment from Maggie, “can you make sure to mention Kara’s ridiculous fake eyelashes?”  In other words, I had nothing better to say here.

Tisha Holland – not as good as the judges made it seem.  On a completely unrelated note, Costco started carrying frozen mini southwest egg rolls that are delicious.  In other words, I still had nothing better to say here.

Jermaine Sellers
– great rendition of “If God Was One Of Us”.  Somewhere Joan Osborne is sitting at home cursing Jermaine for showing her up.  She probably threw her hot pocket at the TV too.

Christy Marie – I never thought I’d say this, but this made me miss Tatiana Del Toro.  Christy came close, but nobody pulled off crazy like Tatiana – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Olq67Knuz8

Vanessa Wolfe – note to self, never visit Vonore, TN.  Actual comment from Maggie “that’s what happens when you get hit in the face with a jet ski.”  Surprisingly not bad, definitely an unpolished singer, but Idol has a soft spot for country talent.

Jesse Hamilton – between him and Vanessa, obviously Crest Whitening Strips have pulled their sponsorship.

Holly Harden – ah, the rare goofy contestant who can actually sing.  I dug the outfit, I definitely don’t want to “strum him guitar” but the girl’s got a voice.

Lathan Davenport – more like Davenpoop.  Yep, Idol only shows them for three seconds, they only get three words.  Not counting the last sentence explaining the three seconds rule, or this sentence explaining the last sentence.

Hansel Enriquez – definitely killed Gretel Enriquez with that voice.

Blake Smith – where can I buy the “Britney Spears Changed My Life T-Shirt?”

Mallorie Haley – dammmmmn!  And she can sing too!  How can you say no to a girl from a city called Winner?

Skii Bo Ski – cousin of Skee Lo Ski?  I wish this audition was a little bit shorter, I wish I hard of hearing, if I had a tiger in a cage, I’d release it to maul him.

Lauren Sanders – correction from earlier, THAT is what happens when you get hit in the face with a jet ski.

Carmen Turner – very shrewd contestant.  You know she definitely BFF’d Lauren (not to be confused with BIFF’d) just to make her look AND sound better for the audition.  That’s how I got Maggie to like me, when I showed up to meet her the first time I had the Elephant Man as a wingman.

Brian Walker – very nice, kind of reminded me Phil Stacey of Season 6.  Although, with one less cop on the streets of Sevierville, Tennessee, who’s going to fight crime against the rowdy Seviervillians?

Lamar Royal – he’s got every right to be mad at the judges.  I mean besides the crazy personality, the loud pitchy voice and the high probability of a stabbing, he could have been the next American Idol.  But now we’ll never know, thanks a lot Mary J Blige.

General Larry Platt
– for those who missed it, just google “pants on the ground”  (I apologize in advance if that yields any additional unpleasant non-Idol related results)

Just received this email from soon-to-be married, Eoin Fitzsimmons, “Pants on the ground, pants on the ground ….. My wedding song”

RANKING THE GOLDEN TICKET WINNERS
1. Mallorie Haley
2. Jermaine Sellers
3. Brian Walker
4. Holly Harden
5. Keia Johnson
6. Tisha Holland
7. Vanessa Wolfe
8.Carmen Turner
9. Noel Reese
10. Skii Bo Ski
11. Miriam Lemnouri

OVERALL POWER RANKINGS
1. Mallorie Haley
2. Justin Williams
3. Ashley Rodriguez
4. Jermaine Sellers
5. Tyler Grady
6. Leah Laurenti
7. Benjamin Bright
8. Brian Walker
9. Holly Harden
10. Amadeo Diricco

This…is American Idol…Blog! (Boston Auditions)

Let’s not waste any time….I am the next American Idol!  Oh wait, I’m no longer eligible now that I’m 30.  Ok, let’s try this again…I…am….the next….American Idol…..blogger!

Cue the music, iron Simon’s white and black t-shirts, unleash Randy’s dawg pound, and organize Paula’s medication in her pillbox.  Oh wait, I forgot there’s one less pharmacist employed this year.  (And no, I’m not ready to discuss Simon’s soon-to-be departure yet).  But have no fear, we have Carla, Karra, Karma, Caramel, ol’ what’s her face and new this year, Ellen! (my secret over-50 lesbian crush).  But until she joins the cast, we’re blessed with EIGHT guest judges (ranked in order of favorite to dreadful)

1. Neil Patrick Harris – you’re going to Holly…….wait for it……wood!
2. Kristen Chenoweth – didn’t know who she was until I saw her on Glee, now I’m anxious for more.
3. Shania Twain – I still can’t over the fact that she’s a Canadian country singer.
4. Victoria Beckham – (see below)
5. Katy Perry – um, I mean, she did kiss a girl AND she liked it, so there’s that.
6. Mary J. Blige – is it me or is she involved with Idol every year?
7. Avril Lavigne – glad to see she was able to get time off from singing at Six Flags to participate
8. Joe Jonas – my least favorite Jonas, right behind Derek Jonas.

So our first celebrity judge is a department store mannequin???  Oh wait, it’s Victoria Beckham.  You know, if Idol wanted to change things up a bit, halfway during the show tonight, they should challenge Victoria to audition and see if she can get a golden ticket.

Well here goes nothing….season nine underway!!!!

Janet McNamara – how do you master the Idol video game when you’re a terrible singer?  Are there cheat codes in Nintendo Power magazine to bypass Simon’s nasty comments?  Instead of using the Power Glove or  Power Pad, she used the Power Pooch. Also, it looks as if Janet has failed miserably at the  Project Runway video game.

It’s gonna be another great season!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 – Normally I don’t want to write about commercials, but it’s opening night and I need to know something.  Putting aside for a minute Luke Wilson paying off an enormous gambling debt by being forced to do AT&T commercials, but what game show does knowing the capital of Peru win you a million dollars??  Are You Smarter Than a Pat Lonning?  (that one’s for you, Wil)

Maddy Curtis – very touching back-story, which means she’s going to Hollywood (no way, Idol is cruel enough to show that and give her the boot).  She’s not bad, but I’m not sure there’s much range there and I don’t see her getting far enough in this competition

It’s Clark Kent’s evil twin brother, Mark Kent!  Me thinks will be seeing more of him.

Pat Ford – more proof that nothing good has ever come out of New Hampshire. HOLLA!

Jennifer Hirst – Wizard of Oz scat style, that’s a new one.  She seems very tall, Seacrest might not like that.

Claire Fuller – the winner of “first person put through by the judges that makes me question if my surround speakers are broken”

Jess Wolfe – not too shabby.  Having a hard time getting past the glasses and my mom’s blouse that she obviously borrowed, but there might be something behind all of that.  I meant the voice, get your mind out of the gutter people!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #2- I unfortunately ate a lot of Domino’s Pizza in college, has the statue of limitations expired on getting my money back?

Amadeo Diricco – Is it just me or is his mother Janice Soprano?  Surprisingly great voice, although I’m already feeling vocal comparisons to Season 6 semi-finalist Sundance Head.  But if this leads to  “Snooki” or “The Situation” trying out though, I may have to flip the channel to a 90210 re-run.

Derek Hilton – Worst part about the invention of HD…the emergence of acne!  (I’m also talking to you Andrew and Emily – Real World DC).  Line of the night, when asked about why he likes Chris Brown, “I like how he touches kids all over the world”  Great, another reason to hate Chris Brown.

COMMERCIAL BREAK #3 – only a couple hundred thousand dollars more to work off there Luke.

Mere Doyle – Uh, does Janet McNamara have a red-headed sister?  Actually looking at her mom roll her eyes, gives me an idea for an Idol special.  They need to follow around these parents of the awful singers and just see what kinds of “encouragement” they give their children, but then they go into the confessional booth and just trash their kids and curse the day they were born.  I’d watch that.

Luke Shaffer – anyone else see the synchronized “adjustments” by both Kara and Victoria

Benjamin Bright – nice control on the voice, I can do without the snapping though.  First bold prediction said by Maggie (“he’ll be in the top 24”)

Andrew Fenlon (aka Mark Kent) – if he was wearing a bikini, I’m very certain that Kara would have literally ripped his head off.   I didn’t think his voice was bad, it actually had its moments, and I think had his attitude been a little better, he might have gotten his golden ticket.

COMMERCIAL BREAK #4 – Ladies and gentlemen, your American Idol, Kris Allen…..now selling Ford vehicle.  Although I suppose that’s better than being the runner-up and making out with other dudes at the VMAs.

Bill Bloom – just killed a baby seal with that voice.

Michael Ryan – him?

Ashley Rodriguez (A#-Rod, get it?) – she hit that one out of the park, and I’m fairly certain she’s not using performance-enhancement drugs.

Tyler Grady – ever see the movie High Fidelity?  That was very reminiscent of the scene at the end when Jack Black sings on stage (even the same song!), and John Cusack’s character just has this look of utter shock at how surprisingly good his voice was.  The lesson as always kids, break both of your wrists and you’ll become a great singer!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #5 – where do I RSVP for Jessica Biel’s party?

Lisa Olivero – BIFF, who was asleep, just woke up and spent this entire audition looking at me  as if he was saying, “really, we have to watch this?”

Ryan Keane – obviously got kicked out of Keane, still lead singer of Third Eye Blind.

Mike Davis – Codzilla!  Was anyone else waiting for Randy to yell out “I’m on a boat!”  The voice was decent, but Boston and Hollywood aren’t really a great mix (see Affleck, Ben)

COMMERCIAL BREAK #6 – how old is the Snuggle bear by now?  I mean he’s got to at least be at an age where it’s uncomfortable for him to be hanging around your kids.

Katie Stevens –FOX couldn’t say “no Portuguese”, but umm, “no Portuguese”.  Actually she was good, although the performance was a little Titanic-ish, started off as a great fun trip and then gradually sank into the ocean, but plenty of memories along the way.

Joshua Blalock – looks too much like Peter Brady’s child to be the next American Idol.  That went on a little too long.  Also, isn’t it kind of sad when someone comes out of the room with a golden ticket and there’s no one there for them to celebrate with?

COMMERCIAL BREAK #7 – nothing to see here, carry on.

Justin Williams – considering how he was the face of the most of the Idol commercials the past month, this one was never in doubt, and I’ll go as far as to predict, he’s a lock for the Top 24.

COMMERCIAL BREAK #8 – I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter commercial starring Megan Mullally.  I guess those Will & Grace residual checks have dried up.

Norberto Guerrero – on a positive note, hands down he’s the best Norberto to sing tonight.

Bosa Mora – at least one member of the Mora family got some good news this week.  Actual quote from Maggie after they showed Bosa’s mother, “there’s definitely a midget with a gun hiding in her hat”

COMMERCIAL BREAK #9 – thing I did not need to hear, “Get the Fame extended dance edition on DVD.”  Thing I did need to hear, “it’s a two-night, four-hour season premiere of 24!”  Early guess is Freddie Prinze Jr is the mole.

Leah Laurenti –very nice, one of the best of the night, but she’s gonna have to control the nerves to make it past the Hollywood round.

RANKING TONIGHT’S GOLDEN TICKET WINNERS
1. Justin Williams
2. Ashley Rodriguez
3. Tyler Grady
4. Leah Laurenti
5. Benjamin Bright
6. Amadeo Diricco
7. Luke Shaffer
8. Katie Stevens
9. Maddy Curtis
10. Jennifer Hirst
11. Bosa Mora
12. Mike Davis
13. Jess Wolfe
14. Joshua Blalock
15. Claire Fuller

Be back tomorrow with some Idol in Hot-lanta!