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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 12 Perform)

After week’s of auditions, both good and bad, and dragging out the Hollywood Round for as long as humanly possible, and then after three more weeks of voting, we’re finally set with our 2010 Top 12 American Idol contestants.

Get ready to see on the big stage tonight, Lilly Scott, Toderick Hall, Alex Lambert and Katelyn Epperly! Oh wait, nevermind, they somehow didn’t make it. Instead, get ready to see Paige Miles, Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. Hooray! For the fantasy sports fans out there, this would be the equivalent of trading Larry Fitzgerald, Adrian Peterson, Chad OchoCinco and Pierre Thomas for Paige Miles, Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. It would kill fantasy team. (Somehow I bet my buddy Eric Tarr is actually trying to propose that deal to someone right now as we speak).

Back to the big show, it’s Rolling Stones night on Idol, and thru all the auditions and all the rounds, here’s how I have the Top 12 ranked as well as my wish list of what I’d like them to sing tonight….

AMERICAN IDOL TOP 12 (thru last week’s performances)
1. Crystal Bowersox (“Gimme Shelter”)
2. Siobhan Magnus (“Paint It Black”)
3. Lee Dewyze (“Beast of Burden”)
4. Michael Lynche (“Brown Sugar”)
5. Katie Stevens (“Honky Tonk Woman”)
6. Didi Benami (“You Can’t Always Get What You Want”)
7. Andrew Garcia (“Wild Horses”)
8. Casey James (“Tumbling Dice”)
9-12. Lacey Brown, Paige Miles, Tim Urban, Aaron Kelly (“I’d rather they not sing anything please”)

I’m giddy, here we go…..

Continue reading

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 8 Girls Perform)

Just one more performance for the ladies is standing between tonight and making the overall Top 12.  Hopefully none of these ladies tonight will suffer the fate of last week’s eliminated contestants who I liked to call “Terrible Creed Singer” girl and “Actually Sings Worse Than Miley Cyrus Even Though I Didn’t Think It Was Humanly Possible To Do So” girl.

I do feel pretty confident before even hearing anyone perform tonight that this will be the end of the line for Lacey Brown and/or Paige Miles, but who else will join them?  I dunno, but that’s why I’m watching to find out.

Here’s how I have the remaining 8 ladies ranked thru last week…

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Katie Stevens
4. Lily Scott
5. Didi Benami
6. Katelyn Epperly
7. Paige Miles
8. Lacey Brown

Eight performances, one hour, so it’s gonna be rushed tonight…but thankfully there’s enough time to have Ellen sit on Simon’s lap.  There’s so many things wrong with that.  Number one is that Simon doesn’t like white women. Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 10 Girls – for real tonight)

Very very long day…so no fancy pants intro tonight, except I’ll mention that my favorite Crystal Bowersox has overcome her diabetes complication and is ready to perform tonight. She might not be able to eat caramel, but she can sing circles around the rest of the girls.

10 words or less recap rules are in effect tonight.

Here’s how I have the final 10 girls ranked thru last week.

MY FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (thru last week)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Didi Benami
3. Katie Stevens
4. Katelyn Epperly
5. Siobhan Magnus
6. Lily Scott
7. Michelle Delamor
8. Haeley Vaughn
9. Paige Miles
10. Lacey Brown

Sadly, no Janell Wheeler or Ashley Rodriguez anymore. Janell, if you’re reading this…I miss you, call me!

Oooh, they’re saving the best for first, let’s get this going…

Crystal Bowersox – phenomenal! will download that performance from iTunes. glad she’s back!
GRADE: A

Haeley Vaughn – can’t believe I’d rather listen to Miley Cyrus sing this.
GRADE: D-

Lacey Brown – better than last week, but such a copycat performance.
GRADE: C+

Steiny has a better 10 words – “Sixpence will get none the richer after that performance”
STEINY’S GRADE: D+

Katie Stevens – judges were way too harsh and incorrect in their criticism
GRADE: B-

Didi Benami – see Katie Stevens, I must be hearing something different tonight
GRADE: B-

Michelle Delamor – see Haeley Vaughn, replace “Miley Cyrus” with Creed. God awful!
GRADE: D-

Sorry, after listening to Kara and Simon give her praise, this gets more than 10 words. WTF?!?! Did they divvy up Paula’s medication between them? Seriously, what are they listening to???

Lily Scott – oh boy, that was sneakily good. She’s gaining momentum.
GRADE: B+

Katelyn Epperly – good song, but performed wayyyyyyyy too slow, could’ve been better.
GRADE: C+

Paige Miles – wanted to hate it, but kind of didn’t mind it.
GRADE: B-

Siobhan Magnus – that WAS dope, Randy. Didn’t want it to end. Nice mohawk! (yes, 11 words, i cheated).
GRADE: A-

Girls are sooooooooooooo much better than the guys. Can we just make it 8 girls and 4 guys instead of this 6 and 6 b.s.?
MY BOTTOM THREE – Haeley Vaughn, Michelle Delamor and Lacey Brown
MY PREDICTION FOR AMERICA’S BOTTOM THREE – Haeley Vaughn, Didi Benami and Michelle Delamor
GOING HOME – Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor (I’m going to hope that American heard what I heard)

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Siobhan Magnus (5)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Lily Scott (6)
5. Didi Benami (2)
6. Katelyn Epperly (4)
7. Paige Miles (9)
8. Michelle Delamor (7)
9. Lacey Brown (10)
10. Haeley Vaughn (8)

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Ladies Night)

I’m going to start off by making an excuse. Tonight’s blog might be shorter than most nights since I’m feeling whatever is lower than “under the weather” and more importantly, it’s Maggie’s birthday today! So I’m only going to give a brief recap in between trying to not cough and sneeze on the birthday girl. What can I say, I’m a very loving husband!

But almost as important as Maggie’s birthday, it’s time to start voting on American Idol, as we begin the drawn out 3 week process of taking the current 24 final contestants and whittling them down to Top 12. To do that though we have to get rid of six girls and six guys who will be forever be banished into the world of obscurity along with names such as Jesse Langseth, Ricky Braddy, Luke Menard, Asia’h Epperson. See, I told ya, no one has seen these people since not making the final 12.

Up first tonight are the 12 ladies. Two of which will be gone by Thursday. So let’s admire Ellen’s lovely man suit and hope for the best tonight.

Before they start singing, here were my “preseason” predictions of the Top 12 girls, which I’m sure will look terrible in about three weeks.

MY TOP 12 GIRLS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Didi Benami
3. Katie Stevens
4. Ashley Rodriguez
5. Janell Wheeler
6. Haeley Vaughn
7. Katelyn Epperly
8. Siobhan Magnus
9. Lily Scott
10. Lacey Brown
11. Michelle Delamor
12. What’s Her Face (Paige Miles)

Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Chicago Auditions)

In case you need to catch up, check out the Boston and Atlanta audition recaps.

It’s the city of Chicago tonight for Idol, although I must say I was hoping when they said Idol was doing Chicago tonight, that we were going to get some Peter Cetera rocking the Karate Kid 2 soundtrack. “I am a man, who will fight, for your honor.  I’ll be the hero, you’re dreaming of.  We’ll live forever, knowing together that we…did it all, for the glory of love.”  We love you, Mr. Miyagi!!!

Seacrest briefly mentions that tonight’s city is the same place where Obama was from and wonders if the next American Idol can hail from the same place as our American president.  I believe that probably qualifies as the closest FOX has ever come to saying something positive about the left side. Then they follow that up and announce Karl Rove as the guest judge tonight.

Just kidding about Rove, instead we get country star, Shania Twain, still looking as good at 44 as she did at 34, although I still have a hard time accepting a country star who hails from Ontario.  The judges are seated, in a weird order tonight (Simon on the far left, Kara on the far right and Shania/Randy in the middle), and let’s hope some contestants in the Windy City actually blow us away tonight.  Ha, I made a weather joke, take that El Nino!

Katelyn Epperly – All due respect, but what a terrible back story to get us to care about her.  Her parents split recently, that’s it???  Although to be fair, when my parents separated about 9 years ago, the first thing I did was fly to England and try out for Pop Idol.  Also, her mom said that Katelyn’s dad “decided to divorce”  Since when is that a verb?  Is this a new thing like how recently football announcers say injuries as “out with a foot” or “out with a shoulder?”  So do we say that her dad was “out with a divorce?”  Oh yeah, she sang too.  It was pretty good, almost unique in a way and the judges seem to think there’s something to her.

Once we help Haiti out, can we turn our fundraising efforts towards saving Luke Wilson and Kris Allen?

Gotta love the Best In Show crew doing commercials for the U.S. Census – now THAT is some great casting.

Back from commercials and there’s someone talking about the many different nicknames of Chicago.  They left off, “The City Ruined By Jay Cutler”

Amy Lang
– apparently she’s Ryan Seacrest’s biggest stalker, no pun intended.  Maggie says “she laughs like Large Marge.”  Not only has she ruined Aretha Franklin’s “Dr. Feelgood”, she also ruined the Motley Crue version for me as well.  In fact, thanks to her “boob-boxing” (as Cara called it), she’s ruined my dinner for me too.

Charity Vance – Her mom says they’ve been watching Idol since she was 8 years old.  I all of a sudden feel like I should be eating my suppers at 4:30 in the afternoon. Very nice voice, but even though she has no problem singing at the local Hair Cuttery, she kind of reminds of someone who could be very overwhelmed under the lights of Hollywood.  Actually based on her skin, she’s someone who could be very overwhelmed by lights in general.

Crazy Accordion Lady – I might have dated her once on a dare, I’m not sure.

Purple Jacket Tom Jones Singing Guy – we need to see more of that audition, come on, he even busted out the Carlton dance!

Angela Martin – aww, it’s good to see her back.  It’s rare that I remember a former contestant coming back to tryout again.  Although, as much as I’m rooting for her, I’d like to enforce the rule that if you don’t make it past the Hollywood round, you shouldn’t get another chance.  That being said, she’s still got a great voice and hopefully she can avoid any more personal disasters this year.

Curly Newbern – well at least he answered the question of who inherit Dom DeLuise’s wardrobe when he passed away.  Curly might have gotten a ticket had he been daring and thrown in some low notes.

Alannah Halbert – she looks like a combination of Winnie Cooper and Six from Blossom.  Apparently her and Curly use the same singing coach too.

Brian Krause – Private Gomer Pyle lives!!!  Although that audition makes me want to cradle a shotgun in the bathroom.  (Full Metal Jacket reference people, no overreacting!)

Harold Davis – playing the Rocky music in Chicago doesn’t seem right.  Again, this would be a perfect time to bust out some Peter Cetera.  Way too many bad singers being showcased tonight, especially for a one hour show.

Chantelle Graczkowski – speechless.  Also now blind in my right eye.

John Park – I think I’ll just let Shania Twain do the talking here with her comments which included…”you have a beautiful bottom end,” “you have nice lips,” “you have a nice tone down there,” and “you have a good head.”  Good thing Shania is also “out with a divorce” otherwise things might have gotten weird on the homefront.

Paige Dechausse – probably one of the best of the night, but that’s not saying much when you’re up against Chantelle and Curly.  I’m just glad she was able to overcome her papercut when she was younger to make it here today.  Oh, ashtma, sorry, that’s much worse.

Justin Ray – yesssss, our first contestant rocking the Eriq La Salle soul glow this season.  If only he sang “Greatest Love Of All.”  SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!!!  (drops mic, walks off stage).

Keith Semple – both Maggie and I went “ooooh” at the same time.  He sounded like an American Brian Adams. I guess that’s why Shania said yes.

Marcus Jones – it has to tell you something, if he was the last audition of the night, made it through and I already forgot what he sounded like.

Overall, not a very strong night for Chicago as the auditions mirrored the Bears season.  They showcased a lot more of the bad than the good, and we only got to see 8 golden ticket winners (3 of which who were shown clipped together in the final 30 seconds).  Hopefully Orlando will offer us something better tomorrow,  but beware that they don’t show Orlando native “this guy”

RANKING THE GOLDEN TICKETS
1. John Park
2. Katelyn Epperly
3. Paige Dechausse
4. Keith Semple
5. Angela Martin
6. Charity Vance
7. Justin Ray
8. Marcus Jones

OVERALL POWER RANKINGS
1. Mallorie Haley
2. Justin Williams
3. Ashley Rodriguez
4. Jermaine Sellers
5. Tyler Grady
6. John Park
7. Katelyn Epperly
8. Leah Laurenti
9. Paige Dechausse
10. Benjamin Bright
11. Brian Walker
12. Holly Harden
13. Keith Semple
14. Amadeo Diricco