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SAS Movie Review – Bad Teacher

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy.

BAD TEACHER

I’m not a fan of Cameron Diaz, in fact it’s very hard to look at her stretched out, over-tanned face over the course of 90+ minutes.  That being said, this was easily her most enjoyable role in well over a decade.  Seriously, not since Y2K did she have any roles where she contributed to a good movie she was in (I’ll argue all day that she was not the best option in Vanilla Sky or Gangs of New York).  But Bad Teacher was simply put, a funny script, solid acting and the first time I didn’t mind that old face of hers since Any Given Sunday (1999).

On the heels of Bridesmaids, which I have been singled out as the only person in America that didn’t think the movie was funny, this was a refreshing comedy that didn’t necessarily rely on toilet humor to get the laughs across.  A good comedy doesn’t go for the home run of over-the-top or gross out jokes and then sits back the rest of the film and get sappy, but instead should keep you laughing throughout, even if it’s not Ben Stiller zippering his beans above the franks.  And that’s what you’ll get for 90+ minutes with Bad Teacher, solid laughs throughout.

Although Diaz did a stellar job in keeping the movie together throughout, the supporting cast might have been the true stars.  Jason Segel surprisingly continues his run of being a funny leading man (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I Love You Man) and I wouldn’t be shocked if he is this decade’s Vince Vaughn, although I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.  Justin Timberlake’s sensitive character was just goofy enough where it was believable verging on ridiculous and with his previous roles in Alpha Dog and The Social Network, he’s proving that he could possibly challenge Will Smith for best singer/actor of our generation.  And little unknown Lucy Punch (terrible stage name), holds her own as the “good teacher” to Cameron Diaz’ title character.

The movie is funny, but this face, isn't.

Throw in a couple of short funny cameos from Eric Stonestreet (Cameron from Modern Family) and Thomas Lennon (Lt. Dangle from Reno 911) and Bad Teacher becomes a well-rounded comedy that may not ultimately have the same appeal as Bridesmaids or The Hangover, but isn’t a bad way to spend a night out at the movies.

GRADE: B+

Special thanks to AMC Theaters for sponsoring this review. If you’re going to the movies, I recommend AMC Theaters, they serve beer there. Just kidding, they don’t, but they’re still a pretty cool and comfortable place to watch a movie.  Actually some theaters do sell beer now, so go to those first, but if you don’t have any in your area, a regular AMC will do just fine.

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SAS Movie Review – Black Swan

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy.

BLACK SWAN

I can probably simplify this in a few words.  Ladies (and men who like other men), you’ll like the movie for all the ballet involved.  Men (who don’t like other men) and ladies (who like other ladies) you’ll like the movie for some Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis hot, although brief, action, but enough to make me wish there was a sequel.  People that are asexual, vampires or Canadian, you’ll probably enjoy the movie because it’s directed by Darren Aronofsky, who did some other intense films such as Requiem For a Dream, The Wrestler and Pi.

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SAS Movie Review – The Fighter

Can I go the distance and watch an entire Marky Mark movie?  Does The Fighter stand a puncher’s chance at winning at the Oscars?   Or will it get knocked out by the competition?  Can I come up with any more boxing terms?  Uppercut.  Yes I can.

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy…

THE FIGHTER

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SAS Movie Review – Shutter Island

SAS = Short Attention Span – basically if you’re like me, you don’t want to read a 3 page review of a movie that’s filled with dictionary look-up words and talks in-depth about the subtle nuances and how they correlate to post-modern, neo-classical, Machiavellian, or whatever random crap that was probably taught to me in school years ago, but has since been replaced with useless knowledge about things that would only help me in a People magazine crossword puzzle.

The point is, I will only write a simple review, nothing more than a page, and nothing that will ruin any aspect of the movie (I hope). So enjoy…

SHUTTER ISLAND

It took until March 6th, but I finally made my way out to the movies, and after what me and Maggie went thru, it might be another year until I go again. Perhaps my review is jaded by the 10 minute wait on a Saturday afternoon for tickets, then the additional 10-15 minute wait to pay $600 for a large popcorn and large cherry coke.

I think the biggest issue I had with this movie was that it didn’t feel like a Martin Scorsese movie.  You know when you’re watching a Scorsese movie – The Departed, Casino, Goodfellas, etc. it has this overall impact while you watch it and it’s usually supported by a great soundtrack or score.

That wasn’t the case here, this was the equivalent to sitting on the toilet for a long time – not because you reading a good book or newspaper, but because you’re obligated to stay on the toilet until you’re finished.  Actually a slightly less gross analysis would be that I’m fairly certain that Scorsese was playing poker with M. Night Shyamalan and lost a huge bet to him that instead of paying out cash, Scorsese had to agree to pretend to be the director of Shutter Island which was written/directed by M. Night, and then Mr. Shyamalan gets to attached his name to Martin’s real next movie.  If that’s true, I got high hopes for The Last Airbender when that comes out.

Actually the real problem here is Leonardo DiCaprio.  He’s a great actor, but he always come up short in movies that he’s heavily featured as the main actor like The Aviator and Body of Lies.  His best roles are when he’s not on the screen in almost every scene and supported by other great roles (i.e. Titantic, Departed, Catch Me If You Can, Blood Diamond and Revolutionary Road).  It’s not to say the supporting cast here wasn’t good.  Ben Kingsley is still great after all these years in a variety of roles and Patricia Clarkson always makes the most of her screen time.  I guess I shouldn’t say anything bad about Mark Ruffalo since he went to my high school, but Michelle Williams was a little over the top with her Boston accent.

Shutter Island is too long over a movie at 134 minutes especially considering how long the first hour drags on.  It does pick up some steam in an almost Lost-like fashion during the second hour, but the grand reveal at the end just leaves you sitting there scratching your head and wondering what the purpose of the first 2 hours were for.  Just an overall disappointment from the Scorsese/DiCaprio team as they are usually successful when working together,

On a side note, the best part of the movie was this weird girl who could not have been more than 21 years old, wearing at least 3-inch heels getting up a half-dozen times during the movie to stumble down the aisle and out the door.

GRADE: C-
MAGGIE’S GRADE:  D