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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 10 Perform)

Time for some R&B tonight on Idol, which should make for some awkward performances for everyone not named Michael Lynche or Crystal Bowersox (because she can sing anything).

Fun moment to start as Ryan tells everyone in the audience to yell out who they want to win this season.  Absent from the shouting was the name Tim, so hopefully that’s foreshadowing for this week.   Names I’m fairly certain I did hear someone yell – Sheamus, Biff, Gregor and Justin Guarini (but that last was one Justin himself yelling it).

Here’s how I have them ranked thru last week…

LAST WEEK’S POWER RANKINGS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Michael Lynche
4. Lee Dewyze
5. Katie Stevens
6. Didi Benami
7. Casey James
8. Andrew Garcia
9. Aaron Kelly
10. Tim Urban

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 11 Perform)

Previously on Idol, we had to say goodbye to what’s her face…oh yeah, Lacey Brown. Good for her, back in 2009 she lost out to Megan Joy Corkrey for the final female spot in the Top 24, and this year, she finishes 12th and still doesn’t get to go on tour. More importantly, she gets to join the merry band of fellow 12th place finishers – Jasmine Murray, David Hernandez, Brandon Rogers, Melissa McGhee, Lindsay Cardinale, Vanessa Olivares and Leah LaBelle. Let us all collectively say, “who?”

So we’re left with 11 hopefuls (well, more like 6 hopefuls and 5 time fillers), but more importantly, tonight we get a true mentor to the Idols, someone with whatever the exact opposite of oodles of talent is but has somehow sold millions of albums…yes, it’s Miley Cyrus! Seriously?  What is she going to mentor these contestant about? How to talk while chewing your own face?

Tonight they tackle the theme of Billboard #1s, so that means songs like “La Bamba”, “Love Shack” and “Ice Ice Baby” could be sung! I’m not holding my breath or anything, but chances are slim we’ll hear any of those, but if it’s like every other Billboard night in the history of Idol, there will be a Phil Collins song without a doubt.

Here’s how I have the remaining 11 ranked thru last week

LAST WEEK’S POWER RANKINGS
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Lee Dewyze
4. Michael Lynche
5. Katie Stevens
6. Didi Benami
7. Casey James
8. Andrew Garcia
9. Aaron Kelly
10. Paige Miles
12. Tim Urban

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 12 Perform)

After week’s of auditions, both good and bad, and dragging out the Hollywood Round for as long as humanly possible, and then after three more weeks of voting, we’re finally set with our 2010 Top 12 American Idol contestants.

Get ready to see on the big stage tonight, Lilly Scott, Toderick Hall, Alex Lambert and Katelyn Epperly! Oh wait, nevermind, they somehow didn’t make it. Instead, get ready to see Paige Miles, Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. Hooray! For the fantasy sports fans out there, this would be the equivalent of trading Larry Fitzgerald, Adrian Peterson, Chad OchoCinco and Pierre Thomas for Paige Miles, Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. It would kill fantasy team. (Somehow I bet my buddy Eric Tarr is actually trying to propose that deal to someone right now as we speak).

Back to the big show, it’s Rolling Stones night on Idol, and thru all the auditions and all the rounds, here’s how I have the Top 12 ranked as well as my wish list of what I’d like them to sing tonight….

AMERICAN IDOL TOP 12 (thru last week’s performances)
1. Crystal Bowersox (“Gimme Shelter”)
2. Siobhan Magnus (“Paint It Black”)
3. Lee Dewyze (“Beast of Burden”)
4. Michael Lynche (“Brown Sugar”)
5. Katie Stevens (“Honky Tonk Woman”)
6. Didi Benami (“You Can’t Always Get What You Want”)
7. Andrew Garcia (“Wild Horses”)
8. Casey James (“Tumbling Dice”)
9-12. Lacey Brown, Paige Miles, Tim Urban, Aaron Kelly (“I’d rather they not sing anything please”)

I’m giddy, here we go…..

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This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 8 Guys Perform)

It can’t be a good sign that I’m actually dreading watching the guys sing tonight.  Unfortunately for Idol, they suffer from the curse of 3.   The worst seasons of Idol have always been when the male talent pool is weak which coincidentally has been multiples of three.  Season 3 had George Huff, John Stevens, Matt Rodgers and Jon Peter Lewis as the final guys in the 12.  Now all four of them can be seen nightly at the Marriott off Route 17 in Paramus, New Jersey.  Season 6 gave us Blake Lewis, Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey, Chris Sligh, Brandon Rogers and lest we forget, the one they call Sanjaya!!

So here we are in Season 9 and after two weeks the guys have been very underwhelming.  Even early front-runner Andrew Garcia is evoking shades of some sort of combination of overrated sports busts, Kwame Brown, Todd Van Poppell and Ryan Leaf.  The best male singer to date, Lee Dewyze might not even crack the Top 5 overall when you factor in the girls this year.

But as long as none of the guys sing something as dreary as Paige Miles’ performance last night, I’m going to remain optimistic and hope for the best, even if I am expecting the worst.

Here’s how I have the guys ranked…

MALE POWER RANKINGS (thru last week)
1. Lee Dewyze
2. Andrew Garcia
3. Casey James
4. Alex Lambert
5. Michael Lynche
6. Toderick Hall
7. Aaron Kelly
8. Tim Urban

Once again, everything is rushed tonight trying to cram 8 guys into one hour. Sounds like a day in the life of Jenna Jameson. Zing! Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 8 Girls Perform)

Just one more performance for the ladies is standing between tonight and making the overall Top 12.  Hopefully none of these ladies tonight will suffer the fate of last week’s eliminated contestants who I liked to call “Terrible Creed Singer” girl and “Actually Sings Worse Than Miley Cyrus Even Though I Didn’t Think It Was Humanly Possible To Do So” girl.

I do feel pretty confident before even hearing anyone perform tonight that this will be the end of the line for Lacey Brown and/or Paige Miles, but who else will join them?  I dunno, but that’s why I’m watching to find out.

Here’s how I have the remaining 8 ladies ranked thru last week…

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Siobhan Magnus
3. Katie Stevens
4. Lily Scott
5. Didi Benami
6. Katelyn Epperly
7. Paige Miles
8. Lacey Brown

Eight performances, one hour, so it’s gonna be rushed tonight…but thankfully there’s enough time to have Ellen sit on Simon’s lap.  There’s so many things wrong with that.  Number one is that Simon doesn’t like white women. Continue reading

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Top 10 Girls – for real tonight)

Very very long day…so no fancy pants intro tonight, except I’ll mention that my favorite Crystal Bowersox has overcome her diabetes complication and is ready to perform tonight. She might not be able to eat caramel, but she can sing circles around the rest of the girls.

10 words or less recap rules are in effect tonight.

Here’s how I have the final 10 girls ranked thru last week.

MY FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (thru last week)
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Didi Benami
3. Katie Stevens
4. Katelyn Epperly
5. Siobhan Magnus
6. Lily Scott
7. Michelle Delamor
8. Haeley Vaughn
9. Paige Miles
10. Lacey Brown

Sadly, no Janell Wheeler or Ashley Rodriguez anymore. Janell, if you’re reading this…I miss you, call me!

Oooh, they’re saving the best for first, let’s get this going…

Crystal Bowersox – phenomenal! will download that performance from iTunes. glad she’s back!
GRADE: A

Haeley Vaughn – can’t believe I’d rather listen to Miley Cyrus sing this.
GRADE: D-

Lacey Brown – better than last week, but such a copycat performance.
GRADE: C+

Steiny has a better 10 words – “Sixpence will get none the richer after that performance”
STEINY’S GRADE: D+

Katie Stevens – judges were way too harsh and incorrect in their criticism
GRADE: B-

Didi Benami – see Katie Stevens, I must be hearing something different tonight
GRADE: B-

Michelle Delamor – see Haeley Vaughn, replace “Miley Cyrus” with Creed. God awful!
GRADE: D-

Sorry, after listening to Kara and Simon give her praise, this gets more than 10 words. WTF?!?! Did they divvy up Paula’s medication between them? Seriously, what are they listening to???

Lily Scott – oh boy, that was sneakily good. She’s gaining momentum.
GRADE: B+

Katelyn Epperly – good song, but performed wayyyyyyyy too slow, could’ve been better.
GRADE: C+

Paige Miles – wanted to hate it, but kind of didn’t mind it.
GRADE: B-

Siobhan Magnus – that WAS dope, Randy. Didn’t want it to end. Nice mohawk! (yes, 11 words, i cheated).
GRADE: A-

Girls are sooooooooooooo much better than the guys. Can we just make it 8 girls and 4 guys instead of this 6 and 6 b.s.?
MY BOTTOM THREE – Haeley Vaughn, Michelle Delamor and Lacey Brown
MY PREDICTION FOR AMERICA’S BOTTOM THREE – Haeley Vaughn, Didi Benami and Michelle Delamor
GOING HOME – Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor (I’m going to hope that American heard what I heard)

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (last week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Siobhan Magnus (5)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Lily Scott (6)
5. Didi Benami (2)
6. Katelyn Epperly (4)
7. Paige Miles (9)
8. Michelle Delamor (7)
9. Lacey Brown (10)
10. Haeley Vaughn (8)

This…Is American Idol…Blog (Final 10 Girls or Guys?)

Not that I’m one to make excuses…ok, that’s a lie…but this is a wee bit of a hellacious week for me. I have a 3-day work training thing the next few days, therefore, I’m still going to recap Idol, but it will be in the “10 words or less” mold.  Besides, it’s still early enough in the competition where several of the contestants aren’t even worthy of 10 words, so look at it as me doing you a favor and saving you time as well.

Previously on Idol, my future ex-wife Janell Wheeler was sent packing, as was Eva Mendes 2.0 Ashley Rodriguez.  Let’s hope the girls can build on last week, which really isn’t asking much since most weren’t all that good.

Here’s how I have the final 10 girls ranked thru last week.

MY NEW FEMALE POWER RANKINGS (prior week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Crystal Bowersox (1)
2. Didi Benami (2)
3. Katie Stevens (3)
4. Katelyn Epperly (7)
5. Siobhan Magnus (8)
6. Lily Scott (9)
7. Michelle Delamor (11)
8. Haeley Vaughn (6)
9. Paige Miles (12)
10. Lacey Brown (10)

Uh, nevermind, apparently the guys are going this week.  So, quickly, useless guy #1 and useless guy #2 were sent home last week, and here’s how I have the guys ranked.

MY MALE POWER RANKINGS (prior week’s ranking in parenthesis)
1. Andrew Garcia (1)
2. Lee Dewyze (2)
3. Casey James (4)
4. Michael Lynche (3)
5. John Park (6)
6. Alex Lambert (7)
7. Aaron Kelly (9)
8. Toderick Hall (8)
9. Jermaine Sellers (11)
10. Tim Urban (10)

Apparently, my front-runner Crystal Bowersox has been hospitalized and unable to perform tonight, so that’s why the guys are going first.  That’s got to make her feel better, that they postpone an entire show just for her to get better.  Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Idol Darling – Crystal Bowersox!

Alright, so the guys will also only get 10 words or less, but in the case of Tim “how the hell am I still here” Urban, I’ll probably just smash the keyboard and see what comes out. Continue reading